In response to all the calls, queries, interest after we had the boys... I started a notes page on FB. I am recording it here for historical reasons as well as forshadowing for a future post...
As follows:
Hi - Because people have asked, I'm going to record the babies update in NOTES. This is not required reading for anyone, it just allows me to update the maximum number of people. Also, I still welcome any calls, emails, comments - everyone has been spectacular. So this isn't designed to block anyone from contacting me. Just trying to get the info out! - THANKS!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Feeling sad. Postpartum for sure but missing them. J is the more independent and serene, more alert, loves to be held, E(T), if possible, loves to be held even more. He's the whimperer, the b baby, was breech so responds more ...to my voice and definitely calms when I'm near. Because he was so near my ribs I touched him ALL the time so I think he misses it. Both pass out with exhaustion the second I pick them up. They "smell me" the nurse said and "it calms them". I hope so. Not the calm part but just because I don't want them to feel isolated. They don't have each other any longer as they are separate in Special Care. But their bassinets are close. To be fair though, the thing with preemies is that the need to sleep the most. More then anything. So it's for the best but emotionally, it's hard to put them down.
Medically - Both are breathing room air and have been for a couple of days Although I lose track because overall, they ARE only a couple of days old. T** has not had any more significant apnea episodes (worth medicating) so the apnea is consistent with his age and he should outgrow it by the end of next week. J*** hasn't had any. Both are on a feeding tube - T*** fed later but is more consistent and stronger sucker, J*** was first to bottle, sucks well but tires quicker - so both require supplementing. J*** had the glucose and saline out a couple of days ago, T*** yesterday. Well, the saline may still be in. Both are off oxygen - so it's feeding really. The outside date to bring one home? Maybe August 17/18. I'm in pain as expected. They had trouble getting T*** out and given the suddenness & emergency nature of their arrival, they had to cut wider and take him more forcefully. So hopefully I'll get stronger quicker then they do b/c I need to be able to function when they are home.
Monday, August 9, 2010:
Both were cold last night and had to be placed on warmers and their 6 am feed was through the tubes. Not sure why the temps dropped but both had to work so hard at 10 last night for their feeds so I assume they were just too tired to regulate their own temperatures. J was up for over an hour which is too long, E got robbed of cuddle time. So it’s sad that both had off nights but its part of measuring where they are. Trial and error as it were. Better to find out when they are in Special Care that they don’t have stamina then find out at home.
Answering the breastfeeding question:(TMI? No need to read :o)…) – Theoretically yes they could breastfeed. Both have the sucking reflex, but it would only be an exercise and not their primary source of food. I could also pump. Am I going to breastfeed? No. I have always been “pro-bottle” and would not have regardless of gestational age, # of children etc. Nor do not feel any sense of grief or loss over the fact that I am not breastfeeding nor am I upset that they were delivered by csection. I’m only said that it was dramatic and stressful for them and my husband.
How's Ellie? Ellie - is great. This update isn't about her though so the lack of detail about her is not over-site but deliberate.
Monday pm Update
Doug came back from the hospital and both boys are doing great today. Each had a full feeding (2oz) and the feedings went great. He came home with the gorgeous pic this time - of him getting to hold both at the same time! My neighbor Maureen may scan these for us so those will be up soon. For their 6pm feed they WILL eat through the nasal tube thingie (doug calls it by it's technical name) just so they can get extra sleep and tonight I'll go up for the 10pm feed!
Not sure if I posted this but in addition to ALL the people who are awesome, I want to put out there that my friend Jess has, the last two nights, picked me up at 9pm(and she's up at 6am) and driven me to and from the hospital as well as sat and kept me and the babies company through both boy's feedings. It's about 20 min down, 20 back plus over an hour sitting there - which is a gift I could NEVER repay. And today three other people offered to do the same - before I finished asking. I can't begin to express how cool it is to have SO so many people around us. Now if only I could get enough ice for the Sangria we are having at 6pm with our good friend Sharon, I'll be alllllll set. Lucky us. Very very lucky us.
BABY UPDATE
Happy to report that I've been able to see both boys every night this week thx to Jess & Megan and Doug has seen them after work. The feeding is tough, taking over an hour for both and last night - again - the results were less then positive with J. E eventually took his almost whole feed but J conked out after the few gulps and never got back his energy. Same for today. Although consistent with age, J still is having some trouble with his breathing and today they gave him caffeine therapy to help up his respiratory. Both occasion take feeds through their tubes. They are good - working towards growing and time and watchful waiting will garner results. Are they in jeopardy? absolutely not. But clearly not in optimal good stead else they'd be home.
THE MARRIAGE
Attitudes are good here, we are enjoying Ellie and with the boys out I'm able to manage tasks that only a week ago were debilitating. Suffice to say that it was definitely a "ticking time bomb" sensation, being pregnant, waiting for the shoe to drop, being high risk. Now that we know the outcome - so to speak - there is a
remarkably lower level of stress in the house. So no fractures , in fact my husband is a lovely and handsome as could be and we are enjoying making plans for how we are going to welcome two teeny mites home. I mention this because one helpful (AHEM) friend thought it would be beneficial to report that I would be emotional and crying every day and need to be "watched for depression". Thank you. We are all set. "Stop reading the internet, dear" she said cheerfully.
THE FRUSTRATION
I will say that it's frustrating of course the occasional cavalierness of people who say "Oh 34 weeks,, they'll be fine" and then proceed to regale me with tales of twins parents they have known, outcomes they have witnessed etc.. I don't want people to wring their hands but neither do I want anecdotal assurances. The former unnecessary, the latter dismissive. And too, good LORD, I don't really care about other peoples outcomes. Just because I HAVE children doesn't mean I'm interested in
other peoples kids. Who doesn't know that about me by now??? (wink, wink)
