"It's hard for people who work full time to understand why someone who's home full time is always busy."
- god it still haunts me.
So just in case he calls tonight:
WHAT I DID TODAY - EST
5:41am Woke up to sounds of child crying woefully for stuffed dog by name.
6:00am 20 minutes later being kicked by said child who cannot sleep
6:21am Berated by husband for not informing him of alarm clock malfunction.
7:00am Showering. Shaved Nixonesque 12-hour leg stubble.
7:10am Using ecofriendly coffee pod. Wash, rinse, repeat. The coffee, mysteriously, sucks
7:20am Reading and responding to email messages
7:25am Drafted invite to psychic party
7:28am Emailed psychic to gauge interest
7:40am finish feeding cherub
7:45am Washing dishes, cleaning kitchen, recycling
8:00am Change cherub, coordinate daily schedule, gather receipts, returns, bring in paper, bring up shoes, bring down "to go" items. Dress child. Wonder if fingerprint size bruise on leg will be understood as changing injury vs child abuse.
8:35am Leave for childrens gymnastics at "the baby gym"
8:40am Arrange afternoon playdate via tel
8:43am Call and berate...call and ASK...contractor to please please please finish work
8:55 am Arrive at "baby gym"
9:00 am Chase child on equipment 1 hour, chase runny nose for what feels to be several more
10:00am Call Dr to request earlier appt time
10:01am graciously accept denial for earlier appt time
10:10am Arrive at TJMaxx for returns
10:14am Return neatly presented and receipt accompanied purchases to sullen, morose moody shop girl
10:22am Practice what appears to be deep knee bends and hatha yoga positions while in actuality writhing on filthy floor looking for binky
10:25am Explain for 4 minutes to hyper-intelligent toddler that the binging sound is not if fact a microwave but the stores alarm system. Continue to explain.
10:42am Gather purchases to include 1 birthday gift and 2 Christmas gifts (yet no Halloween costume)
10:46am Call HIV positive crazy lady shut-in to ascertain if shes alive or in a heap at bottom of steps. No answer. Mildly curious.
10:47am Endure cries of toddler - overtired & not wanting to see Dr for fear of shots
11:00am Arrive Dr - promise child repeatedly that today is a "no shot" day. Assure and reassure.
11:20am See Dr to discuss respiratory issues.
11:30am Reminded that child needs flu shot.
11:33am Stare into tiny face and apologize. Receive flu shot
11:45am Leave exam room for front desk to pay outrageous copay
11:55am See attractive SAHM, feel jealously for her innate style and fashion sense, internally admire hair and figure, secretly think child (mine not hers) is cuter, thus only salvation in this equation where I am obviously so unequal - engage is remarkably chatty chit chat only to have uber fashionable SAHM remark on familiarity, and realize woman recognizes self from old job. Kibbitz. Find out she hates former boss (mine own good friend). Glance at log book. Notice name of first boyfriends daughter, conceived out of wedlock while boyfriend was dating self, realize self is in waiting room with wife of first boyfriend who purportedly hates self as boyfriend still carries 20 year old torch (and even older high school photo) causing wife anguish and apparently at least one case of vomiting after tears over apperent beauty of self.
11:56am Freeze and look around. Cannot see wife. Breathe out slowly.
12:00pm Call HIV shut in. Still no answer
12:04pm Tel again. Different exboyfriend. Can't be unhappy about his unhappiness with life, wife and teen child. Feel no compunction hanging up for pb&j.
12:10 No j.
12:13pm Feed child 3 oreos as "treat" (=reward) for inadvertently lying about the "no shots today" at the Dr.
12:20pm Clear entire table, pink shirt, two tiny hands, frothty tulle skirt of oreo debris
12:22pm Send email to church following up on our losing space for toddler group
12:35pm Call local "social club" (think KofC, VFW, Elks) to request space donation for toddler playgroup
1:oo pm Tear child from Wubbzy to take nap
1-3pm Call: Electric company about potential live wire uncovered under yard, write check, clear yard toys into neater pile, read friends blog, comment on blog, walk yard to ascertain state of bushes, rewash dishes, peel potatoes, carrots and chop onions, dice meat, make beef stew, notice electric company has been overpaid
3pm Child UP
3:10 Snacks
3:30 TV
4:00pm Feel guilty about leaving child in front of tv. Take child outside for scooter play and walk. Walk 1/2 way around block.
4:15pm Child wants big wheel.
4:16pm Walk home carrying child AND scooter.
4:20pm Get bigwheel.
4:24pm Chase child on bigwheel
4:45pm See neighbor. See other neighbor. Discuss paint colors. Admire renovations. Play on swings. Invite neighbors wife to structured church playgroup.
6ish Drag child home.
6:25 In Tub for Poop Fiasco Cleanup
6:40 Beef Stew for dinner (set table, pour drinks)
7:00 change and gather yarn for knitting
7-eternity Explain to husband that it's NOT helpful to rip wee child out of Mommy's arms while Mommy is trying to comfort child and say goodbye.
7:25 CVS for emotional eating candycorn binge to follow
7:35 Arrive stitch and bitch
7:36 Start candy corn
to 10 Stitch. Bitch
10:10 Arrive home
till 1 Prep preschool cirriculum - including songs, stories and crafts.
1:15 am BED!
so thats what I did.
Tuesday.
exciting? not so much. Interesting? only if you're me. Tiring? Yep.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
A hanka for a hunka, a slab, a slice, a chunka
The thing about my sister having surgery is that it makes you rethink food. How much do we really need to eat? Do we chew? Why do we eat so much? So fast? What are we really putting IN our bodies? Is it really necessary?
I say this because I am craving - desirous of - coveting - plotting for - fantasizing about....
candy corn.
And I know if I get a bag, I'll eat a bag.
And I hear Ellie mewling from a late late nap upstairs. And I think to myself "It's 5 o'clock, Doug is not coming home, and we can walk to the park, by way of CVS, and she can climb and swing, whildst I have a candy corn dinner."
And it's a terrible terrible plan.
Yet one I'm about to execute.
And then I think about my sister with 32 oz of liquid food a day and I think "Really? a 16oz bag of sugar?"
I say this because I am craving - desirous of - coveting - plotting for - fantasizing about....
candy corn.
And I know if I get a bag, I'll eat a bag.
And I hear Ellie mewling from a late late nap upstairs. And I think to myself "It's 5 o'clock, Doug is not coming home, and we can walk to the park, by way of CVS, and she can climb and swing, whildst I have a candy corn dinner."
And it's a terrible terrible plan.
Yet one I'm about to execute.
And then I think about my sister with 32 oz of liquid food a day and I think "Really? a 16oz bag of sugar?"
Michelle Farted.
You know, like "Jesus Wept". The shortest verse in the King James Bible.
The quickest blog post ever.
So what happened?
Meh - what I always say. Things got busy, life got stressful, time was wasted, choices both good and bad were made.
Time Passes.
Michelle Farted.
Jesus Wept.
I can't go back and recreate the three months I didn't blog. In my head I can sort and sift and maybe I could piece together a semblance - some history - but to be frank I need to move forward so I can blog again.
So:
STUFF THAT HAPPENED
- My nephew went into the Marines. Time spent writing letters to him.
- I launched the Smallfries playgroup again, this time without the dubious benefit of my former partner aka Karen. I don't miss her. But it is in fact a shitload of work.
- We went to a wedding on Fire Island. I'm not laid back, we didn't enjoy it per se. Folks say "Oh but you had 4 days without Ellie, that must have been relaxing." Not really. It was 4 days in making chit chat. But it was beautiful, and we made friends, better friendships within friends I hould say, and I'm glad to have had the experience.
- My sister had bypass surgery. Thus "Michelle farted" My mother was obsessed - is obsessed - by whether she has "passed" anything. Many phone calls to her here. Time passes.
- My fathers wife (stepmother seems removed, second mother fine in vernacular, awkward in print) being a pain in the ass. Annoying me so. Annoyingly so.
- Visited the inlaws several times. Delightful. Dirty. But they love me daughter o' mine.
-Child. Started gymnastics again. Loves it.
-Child. Looking at preschools. Found one, too lazy to look for more. It's a montessori home school. 10 kids, private house. Don't love the other parents (but when do I ever?) But am content to have a January start.
- Decided on a Thursday sitter. 3:30 to 7 every week. Husband thinks it's a waste. I think I don't care. Will give me time to get a manicure, go for a walk, go to the library. Shop. Exercise. Whatever. Metime is a cliche but it's what I desire. Is it a waste of money? Maybe. Do we have the money? Yes. Is it ours to spend? Yes. Do we vacation? No. Do we own fancy cars? Hyundai and Honda? No. Do I buy full price? Retail even? No. Am I going to keep defending myself for having a cleaning woman and a weekly mothers helper? Yes.
- Realize I have no hobbies. Sad state of affair.
- Selling stuff on ebay, on Craigslist. Clearing out the house. As always.
- Undertaking cause ala Norma Ray. Gym needs vibrant playroom not empty running (read: dangerous) space. Drafting proposal to corporate. Annoyed with self.
- Still living like it's groundhog day (the movie) Still waiting to have fun. Annoyed that I'm a grind. Resolving to lighten up - make plans - have fun.
- Angsting over Halloween costume for child. Why? no idea.
- Almost done knitting poncho.
- Still coordinating the eventual production of "the maybe baby"
blah blah blah.
SUMMARY OF THINGS
Favorite recent memories:
Beach with Cindy, Yardsaling with Jess, A night in at Nicole's, going to the gym on Mondays and Fridays, shopping in Kittery with just Ellie, seeing Ellie ride her "bike" (big wheel) for the first time, getting letters from Greg, chatting politics with April, laughing lots with Doug, seeing cousin Chrissy in Maine and laughing on the blowup bed until our noses hurt, rasberry picking with Megan, sitting on Sharons porch knitting, all the summer birthday parties.
Funniest lines:
At a yardsale with Jess, birds chirping: Jess: "And obviously we've reached Snow Whites House..."
Via Cell phone, self to sister upon opening of Asian Food Superstore: "Well sure the lines were short but it took 25 minutes to get out of the parking lot" followed by "And 1/2 hour later I had to go grocery shopping again"
Things Ive decided I hate and will not do now that I am 40:
1. Eat at a Japanese Restaurant where they cook the food at the table.
2. Go to any in home parties (Southern Living, Mary Kay, Pampered Chef, Party Lites, Lia Sophia need I go on?)
3. care about my inability to wear a bikini
Things I miss doing:
1. Seeing my neices and nephews
2. Reading the blogs of friends
3. Dancing
Things I've recently rediscovered that I used to love doing:
1. exercising at the gym
2. watching LOTS of junky tv
3. drinking red wine
4. Talking to my sister on the phone
Things I want to do more of:
1. Spend more time at night with my husband vs doing house chores
2. walk outside
3. cook things I like
4. learn to golf
5. sit on my front porch
6. KNITTING
Things I thought I cared about but am sort of losing interest in:
1. woodworking & refinishing
2. Facebook
Whew.
So - we all caught up?
Pics to follow.
The quickest blog post ever.
So what happened?
Meh - what I always say. Things got busy, life got stressful, time was wasted, choices both good and bad were made.
Time Passes.
Michelle Farted.
Jesus Wept.
I can't go back and recreate the three months I didn't blog. In my head I can sort and sift and maybe I could piece together a semblance - some history - but to be frank I need to move forward so I can blog again.
So:
STUFF THAT HAPPENED
- My nephew went into the Marines. Time spent writing letters to him.
- I launched the Smallfries playgroup again, this time without the dubious benefit of my former partner aka Karen. I don't miss her. But it is in fact a shitload of work.
- We went to a wedding on Fire Island. I'm not laid back, we didn't enjoy it per se. Folks say "Oh but you had 4 days without Ellie, that must have been relaxing." Not really. It was 4 days in making chit chat. But it was beautiful, and we made friends, better friendships within friends I hould say, and I'm glad to have had the experience.
- My sister had bypass surgery. Thus "Michelle farted" My mother was obsessed - is obsessed - by whether she has "passed" anything. Many phone calls to her here. Time passes.
- My fathers wife (stepmother seems removed, second mother fine in vernacular, awkward in print) being a pain in the ass. Annoying me so. Annoyingly so.
- Visited the inlaws several times. Delightful. Dirty. But they love me daughter o' mine.
-Child. Started gymnastics again. Loves it.
-Child. Looking at preschools. Found one, too lazy to look for more. It's a montessori home school. 10 kids, private house. Don't love the other parents (but when do I ever?) But am content to have a January start.
- Decided on a Thursday sitter. 3:30 to 7 every week. Husband thinks it's a waste. I think I don't care. Will give me time to get a manicure, go for a walk, go to the library. Shop. Exercise. Whatever. Metime is a cliche but it's what I desire. Is it a waste of money? Maybe. Do we have the money? Yes. Is it ours to spend? Yes. Do we vacation? No. Do we own fancy cars? Hyundai and Honda? No. Do I buy full price? Retail even? No. Am I going to keep defending myself for having a cleaning woman and a weekly mothers helper? Yes.
- Realize I have no hobbies. Sad state of affair.
- Selling stuff on ebay, on Craigslist. Clearing out the house. As always.
- Undertaking cause ala Norma Ray. Gym needs vibrant playroom not empty running (read: dangerous) space. Drafting proposal to corporate. Annoyed with self.
- Still living like it's groundhog day (the movie) Still waiting to have fun. Annoyed that I'm a grind. Resolving to lighten up - make plans - have fun.
- Angsting over Halloween costume for child. Why? no idea.
- Almost done knitting poncho.
- Still coordinating the eventual production of "the maybe baby"
blah blah blah.
SUMMARY OF THINGS
Favorite recent memories:
Beach with Cindy, Yardsaling with Jess, A night in at Nicole's, going to the gym on Mondays and Fridays, shopping in Kittery with just Ellie, seeing Ellie ride her "bike" (big wheel) for the first time, getting letters from Greg, chatting politics with April, laughing lots with Doug, seeing cousin Chrissy in Maine and laughing on the blowup bed until our noses hurt, rasberry picking with Megan, sitting on Sharons porch knitting, all the summer birthday parties.
Funniest lines:
At a yardsale with Jess, birds chirping: Jess: "And obviously we've reached Snow Whites House..."
Via Cell phone, self to sister upon opening of Asian Food Superstore: "Well sure the lines were short but it took 25 minutes to get out of the parking lot" followed by "And 1/2 hour later I had to go grocery shopping again"
Things Ive decided I hate and will not do now that I am 40:
1. Eat at a Japanese Restaurant where they cook the food at the table.
2. Go to any in home parties (Southern Living, Mary Kay, Pampered Chef, Party Lites, Lia Sophia need I go on?)
3. care about my inability to wear a bikini
Things I miss doing:
1. Seeing my neices and nephews
2. Reading the blogs of friends
3. Dancing
Things I've recently rediscovered that I used to love doing:
1. exercising at the gym
2. watching LOTS of junky tv
3. drinking red wine
4. Talking to my sister on the phone
Things I want to do more of:
1. Spend more time at night with my husband vs doing house chores
2. walk outside
3. cook things I like
4. learn to golf
5. sit on my front porch
6. KNITTING
Things I thought I cared about but am sort of losing interest in:
1. woodworking & refinishing
2. Facebook
Whew.
So - we all caught up?
Pics to follow.
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