Craigslist & Me

I like to spend a little time on Craigslist. Get me some CL action. I sell, I buy, I look to see what others are selling. And occasionally, oh so very occasionally, I take the time to amuse mysel...

My Post Today:
Lilith the Dress Dummy (mannequin) - $45
**Husband not included**

Dress Dummy : Trying to appeal to a wide demographic here. Bear with me whilst I sell this three different ways:

The SALESY Ad:
Going Broke?
Getting Too Big?
Own your own Dry Cleaning Business?
Halloween Coming?
Then you just might need a Headless Female Mannequin. Think about it. She’s got curves, can stand on her own two feet (read: base) and she doesn’t give you any lip. It’s LILITH the Mannequin.
Available to you for a limited time only is Lilith. Lilith lives in my bedroom and wears various and sundry items for my dressing convenience.Originally purchased to sell my vast, expansive (and expensive) event planner wardrobe (read: bunch of overpriced Ann Taylor crap), ultimately I sold three suits, two blouses, and two party dresses on ebay and then got tired of playing dress up with Lilith. We keep her around because my husband likes to bitch at Fake Mommy and I like the convenience of my sweaters being properly draped vs hanging on a hanger. But it’s time to let go. (Pic is the Hubster. he is illustrating Liliths max height for slow dances etc. She is shoulder to shoulder with this 6ft male)

The Using Sex to Sell Ad Technique: IF MANNEQUINS WERE ESCORTS:
My name is LILITH. I’m a sweet pretty sophisticated female mannequin. Although I’m headless, I’m a great listener and will really understand your troubles. I'm available for ebay modeling, Halloween window displays, and standing in your store window advertisng your drycleaning business. Dress me up! Talk to me! I’m discreet! My height is 4'2, small-built, with a great figure. I’m legless but can stand on my own proverbial two feet. Three feet actually. I look terrific in everything, I love to playdress up and I’m just waiting for you to take me home.

And finally


The Pity Ad: THE BREAKUP
Dear Lilith,
I know it’s cruel. I brought you into my life and now I’m ending it. And I’m sorry. But it’s me. I need more. I’m not saying you haven’t been good to me. You have. You’ve stayed. You listen. You never ask for anything. You never complain. And that’s just IT Lilith. You don’t challenge me anymore. We’ve become complacent. We used to laugh, dress up, whirl around like giddy girls. But you just – I don’t know Lilith. You became…wooden. Stuffy. You just take, and take and take, you never give. When I tell you something, you just stand there. I feel like I’m talking to a wall. A blank wall. It’s over Lilith. It’s time.

People I Like

Upon closer inspection, I was...right.
You know when you reread something in the cold light of day and you think "It was late." "I was tired" "I don't mean all that"

I think I do. But not completely completely because I'm not saying EVERY encounter is depleting, depression, dissatisfying. I'm just saying - overall - well, entertain me.
Wouldya.

So to that end I'm compiling a list of people that make it easy to be with them.
Who I don't walk away from feeling less. Or odd. Or ambiguous.
And by god these aren't the ONLY people I like.
I'm just thinking, if I had one week to spend where everyday THAT person was standing in front of me, hanging out with me, if THAT was the person sitting in my passenger seat, who would it be?

Because I think I need to spend more time with the people I enjoy, and less with people I don't.
And yes, likely I'm going to be alone when I'm an old lady.
Surely.
Because really. At this point, who's short list am I on?

Missing My Best Friend

It's low tide for me or whatever reason. Perhaps it's pms, perhaps it's sands through the hourglass. Perhaps it's nothing,or everything. A million and one things have happened in the last month. Insignifigant enough in text, momentous in thought. Funny how a small thing can shift your stratosphere.

I wonder lately, does anyone just get tired of being exactly where they are? And how is it that no one else seems to be? How do you make a choice - be it a house, a job, a marriage, a car, a blouse - and decide "yep, this is IT man. This is Eeee-nough for me. I'm alll set. I'm living large. There is no winter of discontent."

It's too bad really that today is the day I have time to post because today is the very day I shouldn't.

I wonder at some people, who are happy, find everything enjoyable. Trip to the zoo? Loved it! Trip to the park? THE BEST! Trip to the carwash? Scintillating! I wonder what it's like to go through life with happiness being the norm, and not an effort. I wonder what it's like to see the glass as half full without even trying?

The funny thing is, if you asked me, I'd tell you - and mean it - that I'm in love, and for the most part, satisfied. Satisfied like the cat who had the canary, not just satisfied as in Satisfactory but not outstanding. But light and fluffy? Good lord no.

I have my moments. I'm happy when I'm driving. Today I was happy at the gym. I'm semi happy at night. I'm happy when nobody wants anything from me, not even my company and I'm happier still when there's no possible way I can accommodate anyone or anything so I can actually relax.

But that's so seldom.

And it's a shame.
Because I'm two plus years into this parenting thing and I'm waiting to lower my shoulders, and release the tension, and enjoy the day.

And it NEVER ever ever happens.
not a minute. Not a moment. Never. I am - always - ALWAYS - always disappointing someone. Somebody somewhere I owe something. A thank you, an invite, a response, a return phone call. I owe food to the refrigerator and I owe the rug a good vacuum. i owe my husband my attention, my mother a day out. My fathers wife a Saturday, my brother an evening. I owe my dad a call, my facebbok page an update. I owe Salvation Army a visit, I owe my eyebrows a wax. i owe my yard some care, my lawn some seed. I owe verizon money, I owe the planet some composting. I owe my nieces and nephews attention, I owe my crazy adopted godmother a ride to the doctor, and maybe to the vet. I owe myself a diet. I don't answer the phone because somewhere I am disappointing somebody and the call is a reminder that I've fucked up.

I never - ever - get a call that says "Let me make the decision for you"
"why don't I come over with coffee?" or better "Hey, I called to say thank you - because I know that you are pulled in thirty conflicting directions and yet when you can - you spare a minute for me."

I get calls that sound like that "Hey I never see you" or "Hey I called you but you never called me back". Sounds innocuous, right? But to me it's "Hey - when are you going to pay attention to me"

Well - let me say this then:

When are you going to make it easy for me? When are you going to be open, and honest, and authentic? When are you going to stop lying to yourself and living in denial - or just plain hiding your reality? When are your platitudes going to be real topics of conversation? Because I'm all about real. And all about open. And you, you are taking your sweet ass time enjoying MY honesty because it allows you a brief minute to be honest yourself. Thank you. i'm glad I can be that catharsis for you. But perhaps - perhaps one day you could do the sharing? The entertaining? The soul searching? Perhaps you could delve into the interesting depths of something more then the surface of superficial banalities. Because frankly, I'm longing for some beef with my watery lettuce. I would like someone NOT with a problem to have a meaningful, detailed, insightful conversation with me.

They THEY start.
That THEY do the work in.
So I can sit back and relax.
Because I am tired of feeling like I suck for not doing "my job" or making your world a little less stressful..

And frankly - I'd like to feel a bit better about me. Because when you are quiet, when you are absorbing it all, when you are being secretive, and closed, and not withcoming, you strip the other person of their energy. And just once, one day out of the next seven, I want to leave a conversation feeled buoyed. Feeling energized. Feeling like I gained rather then lost something.

And if I haven't called you lately - or haven't seen you - it's because you deplete me. And not because you are a taker. But because you aren't a giver.