I was in the laundry room, combing out the girls hair. She was aggravated, wanting to get back to the Umizoomis, despite her having more tv time then ever and despite the caution that tv time was up. Her hair is short. Not for a man, or a boy, but for a young lady of 4 almost 5, short. I'm thinking of her jawline, her neck. Her face, luminous, eyes big, lashes long, athletic and impish. I come to a small snarl, surprisingly, and think "We need to get it cut."
I meet woman whose daughters hair touches their shoulder blades. Touches the midpoint of their back. One was proud, inordinately so, of never having cut her daughters hair. Surrounded we all are, but for a few, of tiny Sofia Vergaras, of wee Jacqueline Smiths (google it), of long, beribboned, bebowed, beclipped haired girls.
But not quite.
Because that’s not exactly accurate.
“She pulls them out”
“OMG look at her, she looks like Wednesdays Child”
“Her hair's a rats nest.”
"She cries when I comb it”
“It's all in her face.”
“I cant stand it.”
Oh, but it’s llloooooonnnnnngggggggggggggggggggggggg.
So why don’t you cut it?
“I cant do THAT”
But if its long, unmanageable, she doesn’t let you wash it, it gets in her face, her eyes…
"I can’t”
Why, again?
“She wont let me.”
Cut it anyway.
"But then she can't wear it up."
But didn't you say she never ...
Hey I saw you on Facebook the other day.
That was an interesting link about colored legos and gender bias in toy advertising.
Hey, I saw that your daughter is playing soccer.
Hockey.
Football.
“Pink, I hate the color pink, I'm not putting her in PINK”
Look at you, raging against the pink machine. I saw you guys at the park. Your daughter in her retro Chuck Taylors with her skinny jeans and hipster tshirt, peace medallion hanging. Skateboarder chic. You are REBELLING against the mom in the magazines. Not YOUR girl. You are ASSERTING your ass. You are not going to buckle to girly girl pressure.
"My daughter can be anything.
My daughter will be equal.
My daughter will not be defined by society.
I want her to be strong.
I want her to be happy.
I want her to think for herself.
I want her to find love, male or female.
I want her to be beautiful on the INSIDE.
She doesn't have to be thin, wear labels, cave to advertisers image of what she SHOULD be"
Me too! I want ALL those things too!
"I want her to withstand and overcome societal pressure to be beautiful,
to kow tow to a man,
to be an object."
Me too. Of course. My god, we are SO alike.
"My daughter is a person, not just a sum of her parts."
YES. YES, I agree!!!
"It's so pretty."
Is it? Is it really? because right now it's in greasy strands, whipping in the wind, tangled, bunched, her hand constantly touching it, pushing it, smoothing it back, it's in her mouth, her eyes, looking limp, looking ragged.
I want her hair to be long.
Okay.
"and besides, her Dad wont let me cut it."
Heads up. Quite literally.
2 comments:
the girl hair thing is always so interesting to me. We live in a neighborhood where it's almost sacrilege to cut a daughter's hair. My husband aunt dared to cut her own hair at the age of 16 for the first time and her father beat her so badly that she needed stitches. She tells the story as a joke. Several of her friends were beaten for cutting their hair too. And sadly, it gets passed down between generations. I don't know how many girls are being beaten anymore, but no one ever never ever never cut's their daughters' hair.
Some of the girls in my son's school have hair down to their knees. It's gross.
I love short hair on women and girls. I think it's gorgeous. But what I love most is clean(ish) combed hair. Nothing worse than a rat's nest.
interesting entry.
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