Vanity Plates

My husband pulled down our street and called me from the car.


"You having company?" he asked.
"Not tonight. Why?"
"There's a car in the driveway." chuckling.
Me. Not getting it. "Okayyyyy"
him: "Yeah, the plate says GREEKLVR."
Me: "Really. REALLY? Greek Lover?"

So me, who can't let anything go, calls the neighbor.
"Mary, you wanna tell me something?" I'm laughing.
She answers me, sweetly, concerned, but not really knowing why I'm cracking up. "Do you need us to move it?"
"No no" I say. "But , ah, just what the hell kind of house you running over there? Greek Lover? For real? Who the hell is visiting you?"
"It's a high school kid. Friend of Adam's."
and I totally burst out laughing
"He's greek" she continues "The whole family is. I guess they are really into it."

My husband walks in and I'm bent over the sink practically peeing.
Because on the one hand, I'm wondering "Just HOW long is this poor kid going to drive around telling the world he loves anal" and on the other, I'm not sure if my neighbor got why it was so damn funny to me.

All I could think of was the plates in The Birdcage.
"Oh look, they're leapfrogging..."

Resolution Day One

So of course I'm 4 days in.
And today I, in the span of two hours:

Called Barbara from Salvation Army to tell her kids bikes were for sale for $10, and would she like me to pick one up and drop it by.

Called the crazy shut-in from the car to bring by a meal of homemade chili, cornbread and olives.

Picked up for Laurie and told her Doug and I would come over to upload all her photos into Picasa and teach her how to use it.

Asked the drycleaner if he had a program of recycling men's shirts to poorer countries (you donate the chirts, he cleans for free and writes off his services as charitable giving - the shirts go to Nicaragua or somepolace...).

Felt bad for the babysitter so I made up a date with my husband so she could sit for us, thus make money.

I also brought the preschool a box of tissues and wipes as a donation and spent 5 minutes talking to a sober house man on how his sobriety was going.

And yesterday I overtipped the 22 year old hairdresser at Snip-it's because she just "got her first place" and I wanted her to be able to buy something for it. Like food. Or whatever.

So apparently I learn slow.
Happy New Year.

On the upside, an insane religious freak accosted me in the aisles of Salvation Army wondering if I would be her friend and I shut her down.

So in that respect, I think I'm sticking to "some" of my resolution!

New Year's Resolution

"I decided on a resolution" I said, while driving North. "And I want you to be supportive."
"Sure" somewhat absently he remarked.
"No, I'm serious. I don't want you to dissect it, or to comment, or to pull it apart and judge it."
He sighed.
"But you DO that" I enunciated.
"Fine" he said. "I'm not going to judge."
"And you won't pull it apart? Or comment on it?" I asked.
"Well I'm probably going to comment..."

So I told my husband a couple of days ago my plan for the new year.

"I'm not going to help anyone this year."
Silence
"I'm serious. I'm not angry, I'm just done. I'm not picking up clothes and dropping them off because someone has five kids, or doing charity drives or delivering meals or offering to pick people up, or watching anyone's kids or giving away my stuff or donating toys to the gym. I'm done doing things for people."

Him.
Silent.
Me "Ok, fine, say it"
Him: "I just think that's a little harsh."
Me: "It's not harsh. I just don't want to do it anymore. I'm forty year sold and I don't want to spend the next 20 years living like the last. And yes, I know it sounds shitty. I hate people like that. People who say 'I'm going to do what's right for ME'. I think that sucks. But I just don't want to anymore. I mean sure..."now backpedaling "...if I go to the store and someone drops a can of Dinty Moore I'll pick it up. And you know me, if someone can't lift a box of course I'm not going to walk by. But I'm done offering. I'm done volunteering or matching people to services or dropping things off from one house to the next. I'm done driving to Salvation Army for people, to the grocery store, I'm done leading the playgroup."

"So basically what you are saying is that you are going to put yourself first."
he clarified.
"Actually no."
Him "well that's what us sounds like."

"No no no." annoyed. "Basically what I am saying is that I am not going to put people ahead of me. I don't need to come first, we can all be equal."

"I think it's fine that you want to take time for yourself" he patronized. " I think that's great. But you can't NOT do things for other people."

Which is not at all what I meant. Because I am perfectly willing, if not incapable of not, doing for someone else. But here is what I am done with. I have decided that unless someone specifically asks me for something, I'm not going to offer. I'm not going to jump in and loan dresses, run errands, offer rides, add value, for people who are perfectly capable of doing it for themselves.

I'm not volunteering. And that's tough actually. Because it's a new year, and I was all set to adopt a soldier and volunteer at the Food Pantry on Thursdays. I was all set to use the two days a week my daughter is going to preschool to plan curriculum for story time. I was all set to spend the "new" 6 hours making sure I was getting things done for someone else.

And now, suddenly, I'm not.

And not because anything happened - or because I'm mad - or because I think I don't have the time, I think it's just...time.

With No Real Fanfare

I'm back.
After a long, extended absence. Feels like months.
I should have had something drafted "in the can". Something uber witty and remarkable to mark my comeback tour but alas. If I wait for that, nothing will appear in type.

So no updates, no catch up. Just moving forward.