There's A Stranger Among Us

I thought about stripping my blog today. Removing the photos, removing instances of my husband's name, my name, my daughter's name. Not because I'm worried about a random stranger, it's the stranger I know.

So let me say this, in the new year, I'm going to be honest. Far more honest then I have been. And I may just name names. And I may regret it, and I'll definitely pay for it. But it's going to happen. Because this is my blog.

My blog.
My. Blog.

So be forewarned. And if you weren't invited, but you linked over, and we don't speak, and you or I have a compelling reason why we don't speak,
stop lurking.

Stop spying.

and

Move the fuck on.

And if you feel kind of funny right now.
Sheepish.
Angry.
Suspicious.
You are correct.
I mean you.

Subject: A Love Letter

Dear Husband,

When you go out the front door, lock the @#$%^&*() thing behind you.

Love,

Your Still Alive But Could Be Dead In The Shower With Her Daughter Kidnapped and Did You Learn Nothing From That Story About The 4 guys in NH Wife

Vanity Plates

My husband pulled down our street and called me from the car.


"You having company?" he asked.
"Not tonight. Why?"
"There's a car in the driveway." chuckling.
Me. Not getting it. "Okayyyyy"
him: "Yeah, the plate says GREEKLVR."
Me: "Really. REALLY? Greek Lover?"

So me, who can't let anything go, calls the neighbor.
"Mary, you wanna tell me something?" I'm laughing.
She answers me, sweetly, concerned, but not really knowing why I'm cracking up. "Do you need us to move it?"
"No no" I say. "But , ah, just what the hell kind of house you running over there? Greek Lover? For real? Who the hell is visiting you?"
"It's a high school kid. Friend of Adam's."
and I totally burst out laughing
"He's greek" she continues "The whole family is. I guess they are really into it."

My husband walks in and I'm bent over the sink practically peeing.
Because on the one hand, I'm wondering "Just HOW long is this poor kid going to drive around telling the world he loves anal" and on the other, I'm not sure if my neighbor got why it was so damn funny to me.

All I could think of was the plates in The Birdcage.
"Oh look, they're leapfrogging..."

Resolution Day One

So of course I'm 4 days in.
And today I, in the span of two hours:

Called Barbara from Salvation Army to tell her kids bikes were for sale for $10, and would she like me to pick one up and drop it by.

Called the crazy shut-in from the car to bring by a meal of homemade chili, cornbread and olives.

Picked up for Laurie and told her Doug and I would come over to upload all her photos into Picasa and teach her how to use it.

Asked the drycleaner if he had a program of recycling men's shirts to poorer countries (you donate the chirts, he cleans for free and writes off his services as charitable giving - the shirts go to Nicaragua or somepolace...).

Felt bad for the babysitter so I made up a date with my husband so she could sit for us, thus make money.

I also brought the preschool a box of tissues and wipes as a donation and spent 5 minutes talking to a sober house man on how his sobriety was going.

And yesterday I overtipped the 22 year old hairdresser at Snip-it's because she just "got her first place" and I wanted her to be able to buy something for it. Like food. Or whatever.

So apparently I learn slow.
Happy New Year.

On the upside, an insane religious freak accosted me in the aisles of Salvation Army wondering if I would be her friend and I shut her down.

So in that respect, I think I'm sticking to "some" of my resolution!