It was nine feet high and six feet wide...Welcome to My Bed

It was nine feet high and six feet wide
Soft as a downy chick
It was made from the feathers of forty-leven geese
Took a whole bolt of cloth for the tick
Itd hold eight kids n four hound dogs
And a piggy we stole from the shed
We didnt get much sleep but we had a lot of fun
On grandmas feather bed

Ohhhh, welcome to my bed (cue Barry White music)
Arent I sexy with my unwashed hair and my empty container of prune juice?? Aren’t I glowing??

So HELLO! This post is post one. I really wish I had started Day One* b/c already these been some fabulous fodder but unfortunately, I just kept dropping the ball! You’d think with ALL DAY looming in front of me I’d get on the stick. It just goes to show that the exact amount of time you have to do something is truly how long it takes to get it done.

So this post will have to serve as posts retroactively back to Day One. And by Day One, I'm refering to my admittance btw, not the actual conception...which would be an entirely different blog.

It occurs to me, too, that by the time I'm done with my online "diary" I may be friendless. Yepper. You have to understand though that the whole experience is rife with instances that are pretty damn funny and that at one point in time or another, from my perspective, everyone is going to innocently stumble into - what for me - will be a grand opportunity to make a joke. (Or they'll just say something so friggin stupid that the compulsion to repeat it overrides any sense of decency on my part.)

So let me just own in advance my bad behavior. This isn't "Tuesdays with Maurie", I didn't suddenly take to my bed and become more patient. I'm not wearing an angel pin knitting for the mission.

Still me. Still a bitch. Still think I'm funny. But hopefully, that's the beauty of an online blog. It isn't therapy, I don't have to be fair, I don't even have to be reasonable. I only have to be entertaining.

Hell, I may not even spell check.

So read at your own risk. You may see yourself here, thinly disguised or otherwise.

DISCLAIMER:
I hereby acknowledge that it's not nice to make fun of other people. Nor is my glass house reinforced with polycarbonate windows so my exempt status is certainly suspect. I futher acknowledge that karmically I could be soliciting trouble in the form of bad vibes i.e. the power of three returns to me, what goes around...blah blah blah. Please be advised that that is not my intent to hurt or malign anyone. I fully realize that there are a million positive things to discuss and I own freely that I am gratedful for the love and support of so many many people. etc. etc. etc. Michael Row the Boat Ashore etc.