I asked her to make soup.
Her: Where’s the pan
Me: Oh, under that cabinet. pointing I think so anyway, I haven't, um, been in there in a while. chuckle
Her: here?
me: yes
So she looks under the cabinet and says, judgementally, rather scathingly "Well, you don't have any small pans. Your pans are all too big"
I’m like "I’m sorry. We do have one, it must be in the dishwasher"
She continues to rummage under the counter.
me: apologetically I'm sorry, it should be there but really, if it's not, check the dishwasher. I think they are clean, Doug did a load last night. I'm just not sure where things are these days.
Her: opens the dishwasher and says “here it is”
me: great
Her: It's dirty
me: I'm sorry, he did dishes last night, I assumed it was clean. He must have emptied it and reloaded
Her: Well, it's dirty
me: um, well, sorry, i cant really get up to see what's going on in there. Could you maybe wash it...?
wash wash wash
Pan is placed on stove.
Her: I need a spoon to stir it
me: sure, check the top drawer on the right
Her: here?
me: yes
Her: looking, obviously not satisfied do you have a big spoon?
me: well we have soup spoons but if you want to mix it with a larger one, they are in the containers right next to the stove
her: these ones?
me: yes
her: rummaging
me: um, one has metal, the other has plastic, I'd use the metal so it doesnt stain
her: these been have both metal and plastic
me: oh, I'm sorry, it used to be that they were seperate. Likely doug just put things away different, sorry, i havent been in there...
(repeat entire conversation 4 times adding bowls, plates, napkins and spoon for soup – where do you keep the bowls, well, this bowl has a bowl nested inside it, why do you keep the silverware here – I'd keep it there, do you have a spoon rest, is this the can opener etc…)
then it was "how do you want me to make the soup"
me: well what does it say on the can
her: add water
me: ok, well that sounds good
her: well, should I add milk?
me: hmmm, why? Does it say to add milk?
her: we add milk at home
me: ok, well, I’m lactose intolerant but thanks anyway
her: because milk makes it creamier
me: that’s great, but no. I’m good with water
her: continuing to discuss benefits of milk
me: non-committal noises followed by “oh, is that so?”
her: so should I add milk then?
me: no, really, I’m lactose intolerant but thanks anyway
her: ok, do you want me to add water?
Me: that would be great
Her: so if I add water, how much
me: well how much do the directions say to add
her: a can
me: ok, then add a can
her: when we make it at home we only add 1/2 a can
me: ok, well, I honestly am not fussy, I think I just want soup and I make it the way it says to on the can
her: well we don’t - we add milk, or half a can, so how do you want it
me: ok, well, for me, could we just make it the way it says to on the can?
Her: ok
Me: we use the PUR water filter for water, its on the sink tap
Her: is it this black thing?
Me: (nowhere in any sightline of her) I think so. Is it the black thing attached to the tap that says PUR?
Her: yes
Me: yes, then that’s it
Followed by:
Her: what do you want with your soup
Me: plain toast
Her: where do you keep the bread
Me: see right to your left, on the counter, the breadbox? It's in there
Her: is this it? (holding up bread)
Me: yes
Her: I'm going to open it with scissors
Me: oh, ok (WTF??? fine)
Her: do you want butter?
Me: no, plains fine. I'm lactose intolerant.
Me: Wait, actually, I think Doug bought margarine, can you look and see?
Her: (opening fridge) I see olivio spray
M: oh, yeah, that’s not it, that’s from before, its not that great, you can throw it away
Her: throw it away?
Me: yes
Her: well, I've always wanted to try this so I’ll take it home
Me: oh, ok, great, - you can try it here too you know
Her: well, what if I don’t like it?
Me; then you can throw it away
Her: here?
Me: or wherever, I just meant you are welcome to try it while you are staying with us – no big deal
Her: oh, I see some margarine
Me: that’s it
Her: what do you want me to do with it after I open it?
Me: just put it back in the fridge
Her: should I close the paper back up
Me: yes, that’d be great
Her: or do you have a butter dish
Me: paper is fine.We have a butter dish but we use it for butter only really.
Her: oh, well, I don’t see the butter dish
Discussion on butter dish ensues
me: well, it used to be pause You know what? You are totally stressing me out…all I wanted was soup. I picked the easiest possible thing to make b/c I thought it would be helpful. Is there any way I could just have soup?
Her: quiet...
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