Withholding

Did you ever talk to someone you know fairly well, and that person is telling you an simple, innocuous story about something they did/saw/bought with someone else (socially, casually, not bury a body or anything) and they substitute the name for the person they were with (a person you know) with the words "a friend" or "a person I know" or what have you?


"So...did you ever sell your toybox?"
"Oh yeah, I sold it to a friend of mine. It worked out great."


and two days later you see the person they sold it to and you know them really well and they mention said toybox as if you should already know about it. Why wouldn't you just say "Oh yeah, Paula ended up buying it"?

Like, I understand it sometimes. For example, I tend to say "I went and got a pedicure with my dad's wife" but I really mean Laurie. I generally don't say "Laurie" because I'm not sure if everyone knows who Laurie is by name, or which Laurie I am referring too if we have a Laurie in common. But I still qualify the relationship "With my dads wife" to which the person might actually say "Oh, you mean Laurie". Or say I'm talking to someone who has SERIOUS ill will with another person and I know about it. Like my brothers ex and present wife. I tend not to say to the ex that I'm having dinner with the present. Not because they'd be angry, I just don't need to bring up one person's name to the other. I get it those times.

Or let's say your escorting your good buddy for a aids test, to pick up her crabs medication or to visit her incarcerated cousin. I think saying "a friend" is eminently appropriate there.

But what is sort of, well, weird, is when say I'm talking to a person who is doing something WHOLLY independent of me ie selling their car, going apple picking, whatever - with or to someone I know of, peripherally or otherwise, and have no ill will towards (or they towards me) and it's something I have no expectation of ever joining in on (don't needs apples or a car) - and the storyteller randomly neglects to qualify the date, the plan, the relationship, whatever.

And does it ALL the time. It's just really weird.
Are they being secretive? Withholding? Duplicitous? Are they thinking that somehow you'll be consumed with envy? With spite? I can't fathom the motivation. Are they protecting the other persons privacy? Is the toy box purchase a secret?

I just don't get it. It's seems sorta...I dunno...distrustful.