I do believe that being the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, The Great Pumpkin is a job. An appointment if you will. Complete with terms. The major deities, like Santa, are permanent and immortal, but fairies? Totally a elective (vs elected) office. One day you are flitting around Fairy-ville, the next your grand Poobah fairy comes to you and says "Sally, do I have a job for you..."
How do I know this?
Because recently The Binky Fairy changed office. I'm not saying we've met or anything but I can tell it's not the same fairy.
The last one came and was soft and meek. She talked about trading in one binky for another item. Saving up binkies and sending them to babies afar, hanging binkies on a tree, mailing binkies through the mail, trading binkies because we were grown up and instead having the Baby Fairy come and deliver babies in lieu of binkies.
She was, in a word, a very Enabling fairy.
Then yesterday I realized there was a new, COMPLETELY different, fairy.
Some time between wakeup and bedtime, she came.
And she was Not Taking Any Shit.
The binkies are gone.
Not gently into the night.
Not softy, on wings of a dove.
Those fuckers are Gone.
Gone, Baby, Gone.
Gone as in ruthless.
With zero warning, with zero discussion.
She came and thought "This child is too damn big for a binky."
And she threw those binkies away.
That's one mean fairy.
1 comment:
Someday, the Binky Fairy is going to have to visit my son. I hope she's just as ruthless. The thing I worry about is having the "Thumb Fairy" come and teach him a lesson or two.
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