Im tired. Im bone weary, feeling dizzy, feeling faint tired. I spend - each day -dizzyingly moving from task to task, with a sense of accomplishment coupled with a sense of doom.

Im tired.

It's never going to end yet I know it will.
The boys are months.
Not sleeping through the nigh, not yet 15lbs either.
I'm tired.
Tired in ways I cant articulate.
Tired that I forget words for things, tired that daily I barely hold my physical body up, moving from task to task, completing but not living.
Tired.
and angry.

Because having es last two has brought judgment on me. to me.
And if you arent working had, I dont want to hear it.

im tired.
I said Id blog and Im sneaking a minute but im sideways with exhaustion.
And tired.

A quick prebedtime note then...

As I sit here breaking 2 new years resolutions by eating copious Honey Teddy Grahams and not updating my formerly vibrant blog, I got to wondering the following...

People talk about twins from birth  sharing a special bond, holding hands in utero, barely able to leave one anothers sight, nesting snugly into one another and I'm...perplexed. Apparently I have spawned Cain & Abel because I'm not seeing nuttin'. Im not sure if either knows the other exists. And sleep together in the same crib? bah. Not happening. It's all elbows and fists flailing. I know eventually they'll start to notice one another but man oh man are they aloof....

Coming soon....

New Years Resolution.
A Post A Day.

I'll be back blogging Saturday, January 1, 2011

Coming to Terms

I do believe that being the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, The Great Pumpkin is a job. An appointment if you will. Complete with terms. The major deities, like Santa, are permanent and immortal, but fairies? Totally a elective (vs elected) office. One day you are flitting around Fairy-ville, the next your grand Poobah fairy comes to you and says "Sally, do I have a job for you..."

How do I know this?

Because recently The Binky Fairy changed office. I'm not saying we've met or anything but I can tell it's not the same fairy.

The last one came and was soft and meek. She talked about trading in one binky for another item. Saving up binkies and sending them to babies afar, hanging binkies on a tree, mailing binkies through the mail, trading binkies because we were grown up and instead having the Baby Fairy come and deliver babies in lieu of binkies.

She was, in a word, a very Enabling fairy.


Then yesterday I realized there was a new, COMPLETELY different, fairy.
Some time between wakeup and bedtime, she came.
And she was Not Taking Any Shit.
The binkies are gone.

Not gently into the night.
Not softy, on wings of a dove.
Those fuckers are Gone.
Gone, Baby, Gone.

Gone as in ruthless.
With zero warning, with zero discussion.
She came and thought "This child is too damn big for a binky."
And she threw those binkies away.

That's one mean fairy.