Shalom in the Home

I actually watched an episode of Shalom in the Home today.

EPISODE TITLE:“The Gordons”–Premiered Monday, April 17 at 10/9c
Ro and her husband Roy are struggling to keep their second marriage together. Ro’s obsessive cleaning and fiery temper are destabilizing their blended family – Roy and the kids have checked out, and the family is rapidly drifting apart. Shmuley quickly discovers how Ro’s painful childhood has left her full of anxiety and anger. Will Ro eventually realize that it’s better to have a happy house than a perfectly clean one?

I was feeding the little miss and got enraptured. I certainly didn't feel a sense of kinship, I think Ro "the heroine" as it were, was a bit Liza Minneli and irrational. But I definitely could see her motivation. Essentially, the need to create order and structure within chaos. That there is a right way, and a wrong way, and that things look nice - and stay nice - because you take care of them. Rabbi Shmuley says that "Chaos in childhood creates the need to assert order in adulthood." Hmmm. All I know is that I am constantly creating mental lists of things to do, and that once they aredone, ALL done, then I will relax and feel better.

Interestingly enough, Doug presented me with a parallel item of interest yesterday as well. A lifestyle article in the WSJ on Sunday that talked about why we neglect our homes. In the authors words "Some of it is pure laziness. And some of it may be that, unlike the car, the task of maintaining a house is just too big. We can't get our arms around it. So we don't even try."

What fascinates me is that 1 tv show, and 1 article together, presented on the same day, sum up the major source of conflict in our relationship.

Deb: Pay today so you can play tomorrow. Make hay while the sun shines.
Doug: If it isn't broke, don't fix it. The squeaky wheel (will)get(s)the grease.

It's hard to respect his position.

One just wants to say "If you know the goddamn wheel is going to squeak eventually, why not just oil it now."