My sister once said
"The only thing good about the high road is that the traffic is lighter."
So here is what I have to say about the last week and 3 days:
1. "Mom, Don't go into my pocketbook after I expressly asked you twice not to. The keys weren't in there and regardless of the fact that you were "trying to help" I specifically used the words "PLEASE DO NOT OPEN MY BAG". For all you know I could have had a 10-inch dildo, a hypodemic, or diamond earrings for your next birthday in there. It wasn't that you went INTO my pocketbook that was offensive, it was offensive that you did it AFTER I told you not to."
2. "Laurie, Ellie doesn't need 6 stuffed animals, 5 size 12 month summer outfits, 2 bibs, a lucite floating poem with an inspirational saying and a cheap splintery basket. We have discussed, at length, and over the years, the fact that you are a compulsive shopper. Do not use my daughter as an excuse to justify your inability to stop shopping. Additionally, the fact that you "hadn't bought her anything before now" does NOT absolve you of blatently disregarding my feelings on excess, clutter, unneccessary items, and keeping to a minimum 'the Ellie gifts'."
3. Doug, you are an excellent father and a wonderful man. Stop getting angry at me for offering to help. I'm not undermining you, questioning you or impuning your abilities. She's crying, you're struggling, I might be able to help. When I am holding her, and she cries, and you offer to help - I say yes.
4. Mom, I asked you if you were going to BJs and would you buy me a case of Size 2 Pampers Swaddlers while you were there. You said yes. I'm aware that a case is approximatelty 150 diapers. I'm aware that size 2's are good up to 18 pounds. I know what I asked for because she's my daughter and I change her approximately 9 times a day. I'm familiar with both her weight and size. I'm completely NOT grateful for the size 2-3s that you brought home because "You thought I'd never use all the size 2's. That there was "no way" I would so you got me what you thought was best." There is way. She weighs 15 pounds. She's not going to gain 3 pounds in 30 days. I asked for a favor because you begrudge not being needed. You choose to do what you want regardless. I now have a case of diapoers for October or November but had to stop at Target for the size 2's."
5. Lisa, If you say one more time, in any variation, that you'd enjoy "staying home all day" or that "It must be nice to be able to do what I want, when I want" I'm going to scream. You know absolutely nothing about my life, nmy days, my strugggles, my finances. What we gave up to get, what makes our lives work and where the fractures are. I had a baby, I stay home. It's not all "Pass me the remote while I finish these bon bons." Yes, I am staying home. To raise Ellie. And it's a full time fucking job. So enough about the cake walk that's my life. And don't placate me with "Oh I know how busy you must be, how crazy". Not to make a cheap shot here but actually, no you DON'T know how busy I am, or what my life is like. Not because you aren't smart enough or intuitive enough but because you are one of the worst listeners I have ever met.
I'm tired of taking the high road because someone else had "good intentions". I'm tired of looking at their motivations. I get it. I get it. They meant well, I need to turn the other cheek.
Why?
I just want to say "Don't value-add people. You only fuck it up."
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