A statute of limitations is a statute in a common law legal system that sets forth the maximum period of time, after certain events, that legal proceedings based on those events may be initiated.
There needs to be an Statute of Expiration. A set period of time after which you are no longer obligated, or required, to keep gifts. I find myself anxious over the sheer quantity of things we own. Daily I move Pile A to Location B. I lift, I sift, I sort. "Do we need this?" I find myself thinking. "Can I throw it away? Can I recycle it? Does anyone else want it?"
"Put it in the Basement" Doug says.
"No no no," I say. "The basement is an extension of our home! I refuse to let it be dead storage."
The issue is, I hate outright throwing things way. I'm not a collector, or a pack rat. In fact, I'm just the opposite. I can't have yardsales because the house is too empty as it is. I just hate waste. I hate excess. And I hate contributing to a landfill just because I'm bored with something. My policy is "If you can't eat it, wear it or use it within 7 days, you shouldn't own it." Snowblowers and their ilk being the exception.
"Throw it away then" he says.
"I can't! It's wasteful."
"You're just making more work for yourself."
"I know, I know" I mutter as I gather the plastic grocery bags to donate to the cobbler.
After the birth of Ellie we were inundated with presents. From hand painted bookends, to piggybanks, clothing, beach towels, hand knit afghans, onesies, bibs, socks, dolls, toys, leftover outgrown play equipment..you name it. Oh goodness, yes we were grateful. And yes, we saved, conservatively, over $2000 in items. So I thanked everyone (metaphorically that is, the notes are still forthcoming). But it was, and remains, a nightmare. I think there's a circle of hell called "Baby Returns" I was in a two month frenzy of returns. Every item had a potential value so nothing could be discarded.
"Donate it" he'd say.
"I can't! She spent (insert amount) on this. I should return it. Get a credit or something."
Off I drove - to JC Penneys, to Babies R Us, to Target, to Macys.
"It's costing you more in billable hours then she spent. Your taking two hours to return a $30 item." he mentioned one day.
"I know, I KNOW" I panted anxiously as I carried the pink and white bags to the trunk. "Receipt receipt" I mutter...
If they really loved me, I thought, they wouldn't inundate me with these things.
They haunt me.
"Save the credits for Christmas" my sister says.
I hyperventilate. Even the credits are talking up space. One more thing to track, to follow up on.
"People WANT to give you things" I hear over and over. "It's better to give then to receive.
"But I don't WANT things" I stamp out.
"They aren't for you, they're for Ellie."
ELLIE'S 4 MONTHS OLD. She plays with her opposable thumb for cryin' out loud. She doesn't "need" anything.
breathe breathe...
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