Light Dawns

Do you know how people always say "a baby can sleep in a drawer?" Until I had Ellie, and until slightly after her birth I used to think "They must mean the bottom drawer because wouldn't the babies weight make it fall out of the bureau?"

SERIOUSLY.

Then I was like "Or do you close the drawer, like at a morgue. But then how do they breathe?" It just didn't make sense.

I finally figured out that they meant to take the drawer OUT of the dresser.

Never had this reality hit home more though then last night. Doug and I stayed over at the Ritz in Boston.

"Don't bring the porta-crib," he said. "I asked for two doubles; she can sleep in the middle of the other one."
"Perfect" I cheerily replied.

That night, as we placed her on the bed, we both immediately realized the error of our ways. As she sunk into the down coverlet, deeper still into the featherbed underneath, we looked at each other in dismay.
(btw - notice my reliance on the cliched above. Error of our ways. Looked on in dismay. It's 7am Sunday, I was up before 6 with these d*mn allergies. I need all the help I can get)

I looked at Doug. "We can't let her sleep like that" I said. He nodded. "I don't actually think she's going to roll over." he began, "but just to be of the safe side we probably shouldn't."

We start inspecting the bed. Hospital corners, double sheets, blankets firmly in place. "It's too much work to strip it" we agreed.

"What should we do?"

"We could put her in the bathtub" I pondered outloud.
Doug just looked at me. It seemed frightening. As if the water would somehow turn on automatically.

"Or on the floor" he said, motioning to an area by the foot of the bed, closer to the window.

I felt funny about it though. "What if we step on her?"
"When? he said. "When we get up to surf the internet in the middle of the night?"
"It seems mean" I dithered.
"It's no harder then her portacrib" he pointed out.
I bounced with my feet. "Rug's soft" I said. I thought about Dateline and bluelights. I thought about bugs crawling on her. I thought about the vent blowing on her head. I thought about a fire in the hotel. Fireman bursting in, unaware that she was on the floor and trampling her. What if one of us sleepwalked? I thought about how tired I was.

I dubiously checked the room drawers. Wondered if they were on rollers attached or if they would really pull out. Too small.

"Ok" I was hesitant. "Do we just, what?, put her down?"

We both started looking left to right. Waiting for something to reveal iteself. the shams, I started thinking. Aha! Into the bathroom, and out with a huge towel. I neatly place it on the floor, perfectly aligned with the foot of the bad. It makes a nice tableau. A virtual crib. We gently place her in the center and cover her with her blankie. I shove a pillow under the chair closet to the vent. To mitigate any rouge airflow underneath.

She's so sweet.

Into bed we climbed shortly after.
We heard her little Ellie noises.
"She's fine" he assured me. "She's fine.

Sometime in the middle of the night, I woke up. "I hear her little feet thumping."
"She's just looking for her thumb" he mumbles.
I peek over. I hear her breathing gently.

We sleep. The alarm goes off at 6. Thanks to room darkening blinds it's still midnight in the desert in there. I hear a thump. Ellie makes a noise.

She must be kicking her feet again, I think. I'll sleep a bit more.
Elllie makes a mewling sound. Well, she's still making noise, I think. I'm half asleep . Doug starts to get up.
"It's ok, I'll get her" I say.

He heads for the bathroom, and I for our baby.

"Oh ELLIE"
And there she was. Only a foot remaining on the towel, the rest of her body sideways, sleeping half under the office desk, her head at the table leg, her foot angled towards the chair.

"I think I know what that noise was a minute ago," I call out. He comes back in.
I point to her forehead against the table leg. Ellie sucking her thumb, sleeping soundly. Doug picks her up.

"No more floor for you" He kisses her and puts her on the bed.

And in that EXACT moment I suddenly realized why babies slept in drawers.