Names & Ages:
Mother: Rosemarie, age 60 (youthful 60!)
Daughter: Deborah, age 38 (blessed with youthful mom's genetics)
alternate Daughter
Michelle, age 40
Sizes:
Mother: unknown. Should be a 16 or tailored 18. Insists on squeezing into a 14. Looks uncomfortable! Wears pantyhose under shorts to look slimmer, help help help!
Daughter: Former 4/6, now 11 months after the birth of her first child, a basic 8 (Ann Taylor), a vanity 6 (gap/banana), or an upscale boutique 10. Wears Old Navy Yoga pants with a vengeance.
alternate Daughter: Size unknown, likely 26. Medical condition forced a weight gain and then defeated by years of gaining, different meds, etc she gave up trying to keep her smaller figure and gained more. Now attending WW she's lost 10 lbs in her first 4 weeks and she's feeling SASSY! She shops exclusively at Lane Bryant but likely would get a lift from new hair and color advice! (She's cute as a button , a three - fer could be just the thing! )
Location:
Boston
Contact Info:
Deborah Butler
14 Auburn Street
Wakefield, MA 01880
617-686-6801
Reason
Actually, my mother and I both, as a rule, look generally attractive. We have a good sense of color, and style - and both buy relatively reasonably priced items that are well made . Both of us are 5'2" with curvy builds - so neither of us are afraid of a tailor! My mother has better calves, I'm (obviously) thinner all over. We both are frequently thought of as up to 10 years younger. Both are conventionally pretty, both of us present with a softer, classic look. (Alt Sister Michelle does as well)
For practical reasons - my mother would be a terrific candidate as she is starting to date herself in terms of a wardrobe. As an older woman, her store choices are limited. And, as she ages, she's thickening. She's now a low plus size but cannot find a way to creatively dress herself. She continues to insist on Talbots stretch slacks and knit sweaters in a size medium. Her rational is that she is "a petite" but instead she looks uncomfortably sausaged in her clothes. Her figure could look beautifully stylish but instead, she wears pants tapered to down to her white sneakers (Argh!) (or worse, her naturalizer round toe flats). If stirrup pants were still available, she'd own a bakers dozen. Her hair is cut well, but she's committed to a suburban salon, where the stylist insists on frosting through a cap. So her short hair, instead of looking sassy with a honey hue, instead looks brittle with an ash nimbus. Her eyes are green, and GORGEOUS but she wears blue eyeshadow and an unfortunate shade of rose lipstick...because the same suburb has a Este Lauder makeup woman who thinks woman "need color"! She also, lately, has been attending the Boca school of jewelry wearing. Gold... with a ring, bracelet or necklace on every limb and digit. She is, by anyones standards, an attractive woman but with professional help, would like a beautiful woman.
For emotional reasons, I think she's an even better candidate. My mother grew up with little money in veteran's projects (public housing) in the 50's and 60's. Just twenty when her mother died, she was pregnant with her third of four children. My father divorced her at 24, leaving her with four children under the age of 6. She never had the money or time to devote to herself but she always looked carefully groomed and attractive. And, although she raised all four children (alone!) in public housing, instead of being a welfare mother, she worked full time - and insisted on good grades, respect, and approriate manners and presentation from each of us. In her thirties, she remarried - and has taken up golf, bowling, bike riding and is an avid Notre Dame fan. She has a lovely home and a loving 20 plus year marriage to a husband who still adores her. Unfortunately, no matter how far she has come, she still at times lives in the shadow of the old days. While she should be suberbly confident anywhere she goes (she's bright, she travels , she looks well bred, she has pretty mannerisms!) she is easily intimidated by those who "present" better - so she avoids going to certain places or types of events. Place her in front of a woman with a chic bob, or chunky jewelry, or tailored trousers and you can visibly see her get anxious. To compensate, she'll only buy the expensive items at major stores because she automatically assumes they are "better" and wants to present as someone who is "not poor". Instead of trusting her innate and terrific sense of style, she allows herself to be led by anyone in a position of presumed authority. ie sales clerks, makeup associates, hairdressers. It's heartbreaking to see her buying things that don't work, don't look right, aren't her taste or style because she doesn't trust herself and she assumes others, who are confident in their style, know more then she does. If someone could show her how beautiful she could be - dressed as HERSELF - not a Talbots manniquin or a Martha's Vineyard J Crew mom - but as short, pretty, Italian woman, well, we'd all be grateful. She deserves it.
Reason for me? Heck. Less then two years ago I was an unmarried event planner for a major financial company, size 4, with heels over 3 inches, fabulous boots and , if not enviable, certainly quasi-sexy figure. After a crazy, some say arduous, pregnancy (over 1/2 of it on strict, left lying, partial hospitalization bedrest) eleven months later I'm a SAHM with a bigger butt, and baby snot on my sleeve selling my old wardrobe on ebay ($90 for an old Ann Taylor houndstooth thank you very much!). I live in a fleece jacket of my husbands that I wouldn't be caught dead in before and my pocketbook is a diaper bag from TJ Maxx. Prior to having Ellie (my sweet baby!) I had an income of my own and far more confidence when shopping. Now, I live on my husband's income, so I stress daily about whether I really "need" clothes. I buy, leave it in the bag, then return. I also never - EVER - wore flats. Buying Mommy shoes requires an entirely different approach. Sadly, I'm also still prancing around with my impractical, too long "bar hair" (i.e long, sidepart and wavy) and it is in a permanent ponytail with headband. I don't feel ugly or lazy but I definitely feel like the two years away from the downtown shopping and lifestyle, and one year as a mommy, have made me look, sigh, I guess you New Yorkers say "bridge and tunnel". The emotional reasons I'd like one? After such a crazy pregnancy (planned but premarital) my fiancé and I decided that we had had enough drama and secretly eloped (Nov 07) vs. having a "real" wedding. I don't regret not having a wedding, a reception, or bridesmaids and fanfare...but, with all my heart, I really wanted a picture of my husband and I and our daughter, frozen in time, when we were/are all so very happy. I'd had the idea to hire a professional photographer in lieu of a wedding, to follow us for one day (her birthday in fact) and shoot candids. Well, that day is coming - and honestly, I just don't want to document forever what a has-been I look like. I want to look as beautiful outside as my feelings for my husband and daughter make me feel inside.
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