It's Always 5 O'clock somewhere

So I had this idea – way before I was ever pregnant. Before Doug, before any of what is now - I had an idea. I always imagined sharing music with my future child. That we’d have, say, every night at EXACTLY 5:03, “music time’ where, no matter what we were doing, we’d sing and dance a song. In my vision, my child would grow up, and be somewhere, and I guess I’d be dead or something because I never imagined me - and my child would look at the clock, it would be 5:03, and my child would say to his/her spouse “when I was growing up, my mother always danced around the table, etc etc ….” And my child would feel very loved.

So then I saw Baby Loves Disco in the Globe. I was PSYCHED! I was pregnant with Ellie and knew, once she was born, an older, that we’d sign up for something like this. Then, several months ago, I saw it again. Dates through April. Hey, Ellie was turning one in April. Hmmm. It was January but better to be prepared. They sell out quickly….

So online I went and tickets I bought. The plan was, originally, for it to be a birthday party. I was going to have the grandparents (all 6) my neice, my other neice, my cousin and her kids, sorted respective parents, and 2 girlfriends with their children, Kim and Barbara. There 20. Then I started thinking about Doug’s two friends, so I invited them as well. I knew I was going to have more people then tickets but I also knew not everyone would make it.

Time passes. I start rethinking. My mother and father where? For how long? Doug’s parents can’t come up. Ok. I start hanging around with Jess. Hmm. Maybe I can turn it into more of a mommy party? I split my list and quasi disinvite half. I figure I’ll invite more people as I get to know more people. More time passes. Barbara is going to Ireland. My brother cancels. Doug’s friend accepts, then declines. I’m playing ticket catch up. I’m trying to invite folks I think will fit, but can’t invite too may because my outstanding invites are tbd.

And on and on it goes. It’s a pain in the ass and I want to scrap it and resell the tickets but I’ve committed to a couple of people who appear to really be looking forward to it. I decide to publicize it as a non birthday party. The truth is, it just wasn’t that meaningful to me any longer. I wasn’t really all that interested anymore, in the three months since I started it, Ellie’s gotten more personable, more interesting, more lively and frankly, we have our own fun.

But - finally, we end up with a workable group. I’m happy with the numbers, the combination is about right, I have goody bags, I haven’t invested that much emotion in it, it’s not representative of Ellie’s birthday, it’s just a thing. I think we’ll sing to her b/c it’s fun, but other then that, I’m ok with just going. And it’s cake. It’s easy. We go to a wedding, we sleep in (till 7:30am…whoo whoo) Doug picks up Ellie, we quick change-er-ooo, off we go. I don’t even “dress”. I throw on jeans ad a sweater and Ellie gets the same. It takes us under 20 minutes door to door to get there.

And
Can I just tell you?

I fucking hated it.

Honest to god.

Now don’t get me wrong, I didn’t have a bad time per se. It was good to see Joey & Dawna, I felt like Mike and AnnMarie had a good time - the girls certainly did, Michelle is amazingly good to us, Julia is so sweet tempered, Jess and Pete traveled all the way down, and dressed Emily in party clothes. I saw Kim, and Kim etc. I like the people. I even love some of the people. But seriously? Seriously? What a colossal fucking waste of time.

Ok, there was a room. Yes. And Kids. Yup. And toys. And food. Downstairs there was disco. But overall? Our playgroup is better. Honestly. The toys are the same, but the parents are better behaved.

I mean, honestly, some of these parent descended on the buffet line like the were giving out love.

And, for the money, it was financially fair. They had a TON of child friendly food, free drinks, and nothing ever ran dry. They had vendors, balloons, some props and a DJ. From a production point of view, no one was making a huge profit there either. They rented the space, had to staff it, clean it, they provided toys, got a dj, then the labor cost of loading in, food prep, parking for the volunteers. It was not "a rip off" - in fact, the value for the spend was more then reasonable.

BUT.
And I say this with all due respect
BUT.
It was both poorly executed and unimaginative.

Really. I mean, if I wanted Ellie to sit on the floor and play with toys, and interact with other kids...well, I'd have just waited until Monday.

I thought that it was going to be interactive. Structured. Maybe some line dances. Announcements. A mime. Whatever.

But what it really was was playgroup with snacks.
No shit.
We do this every week.
Some weeks twice.

So what I finally figured out - tired and hungover and bitchy with tooth pain as I may be - and perhaps with some condescension.

It was for mommy's and daddy's who work. If you work all week, and you don't go to Wee Listeners and Circle Time and Lap Sit and Sing-a-Long, and drop-ins and Little Gym. If you don't get a chance to interact with other kids, other moms. If you otherwise wouldn't have this opportunity elsewhere - it was valuable. You might have enjoyed yourselves. You might have been astonished at the stimuli.

But, if you are a former professional event planner who happens to be good friends with two very involved, interactive, co-mommys - and you go go go...well, you came home from this event thinking - at least I can cross THIS off my list of things to do before I die.

Never again.