The hum of the fan...or something else

"I got invited to the same party" my sister said to me.
"Oh you did?" I asked.
"Yeh. I'm not going though. For one it's a couples thing. And there's no one I'd be comfortable going with."
this from a woman who shares her home WITH a man. Just not The Man.
"So it's for couples?" I said "That's kind of weird. Like you can only go if you are a couple?" How rude, I'm thinking.

My sister clarifies "No, it's like...it was an evite. And the invitation went out saying people were to come in pairs and they'd be sure to have a good time."

Holy SHIT. I'm thinking. Oh my god, it's a key party. In this day and age. Here. In our lives. I'm now remembering the time I was 33 when THREE separate couples asked if I wanted to join them sometime. THREE. Robert and his wife. Arianne and two different boyfriends of hers, and Dave and Michelle. So I guess that's four couples. And as I said then, and I'll say now, in practical application, I just don't see me going down on a woman. Eww. But true. There. I said it. Melissa Etheridge notwithstanding and the bicurious era behind me, it just ain't gonna happen. But WOW. A key party.

My sister ruthlessly amends my thinking.
"It's a toy party."
"Oh" I say.

But still....

Later last night, in bed, lights off, after the murmured one sentence discussions "Ellie's got diaper rash" "Don't forget to bring the dentist bill to work" "Are we going to the beach" ... pillows fluffed, rolled over, relaxed...I'm about to drift off to sleep.

Into the dark. Out of the blue, he says...
"It's like, one step away from..."
"Swinging. I know" I finished the sentence. Then shuddered.
"I'm just not that open" he said. Meaning about the toys. I was already clear we weren't talking about swinging.
"Yeh. I'm not either. I can't picture sitting with a group of people with some woman going on about butterfly clips and massage oil." I shudder again. "It's just....raunchy"
Doug gives me a hug the a kiss.
"I think it's funny, given our histories, and mores, that we both are so uptight about these things."
And in my head I'm like "Yeah, really."

Which reminded me...

I went to a toy party actually. About four years ago. The woman gave us a sketch pad with a half nude, unfinished image and a pencil. The instructions were to complete our perfect man.

I drew boxer shorts and a wedding band.

Then I called my sister from the car on the way home to tell her I won the door prize.

"Um. There's a vibrator in my pocketbook. If I get in an accident, can you just make sure people know I won it and I don't carry around a vibrator."
"Sure" she cheerily replied. "Anything in the house I need to get rid of?"
"Nope, just my pocketbook."