So I'm actually far too tired to write a blog entry. Plus I have 30 plus emails to write so a blog entry is self serving. Instead, I'm cutting & pasting an email entry...
ABBIE writes:
...how are you all holding up? how is she sleeping? fill us in!...
TO WHICH I REPLIED:
she's fabulous - growing like a weed. We have a pediatrician appt at 11am.
I'm giving you the long diary like answer so I can update her book...
She's a pretty "textbook: baby, very "chill" as the folks say that are cooler then I. Neither happy, nor sad - but inquisitive and silent. Like her dad more than me. Looks around a lot, waves her arms.Not a big crier unless she is making a point, then she stops right away. Likes to be held but is not a cuddler yet. Still doesn't realize that the arms waving in front of her when she's sleeping are actually hers!
We're busy though. Its weird, staging your life in increments around feeding and napping. For example, she gets up at 4-4:30 am nightly. After that we need to hold her for at least 1/2 hour (reflux). So it's feed, hold, put her down and bingo, like clockwork 3-4 hours later, you do it again. Plus the feed and hold take an hour, so it's really every 2.5 to 3 hours. But that's normal and everyone says - including us - that we are REALLY lucky that she is on a schedule already. Doug is exhausted - more so then I. We still go to bed at midnight like we always did - but add a 4am feed? not enough sleep! His commute - ahem, as you both would know - is horrible. He's getting bummed which in turn gets me upset - but what can you do. We are giving this house about another year, then we'll have to look. We aren't sure where we want to go yet so that's the dilemma really. So far I have met 2 moms for walking dates around the lake, and I have identified some potential babysitters for when she's a bit older so Wakefield is serving it's purpose for now. Id like to start going to the gym but its just not possible. Not unless I pay someone 2 hours each day to stay here while she's asleep. Very cost prohibitive! I know the gyms have "babysitting" but those girls aren't specialists. I guess that's why its called babysitting not childcare. They don't know cpr or have separate infant areas etc. I can just see poor Ellie getting beaned in the had by Desperate Housewife type monster children. And of course, if they did have all that good stuff, my gym would be - oh,say, $1800 a month :o)
So my biggest grievance is really, right now, my weight and my looks. Honestly. It's a bitter pill. When you are pg, being chubby is adorable. Now that I have her, if I walk around without her, I just look like your random haus frau fat suburban weight watchers soccer mom. egads. I find myself announcing that I had a baby a lot, just so people don't think I cant stop at one eggroll. I mean, logically, I'm ok with being a chub-a-wub given why and what a worse outcome could have been but to have al this beautiful weather, and to be wheeling around in the 150s at 5'2"???? sigh. Plus there's never time for hair and makeup. When I do put her down, I'm running around cleaning or making calls. So I get dressed last and throw on Doug's t-shirts and sweats. FUGLY MOMMY! Argh!! The other issue- bitter pill - is that I don't have any clothes!!!! LITERALLY! I wore yoga pants, pajamas and tank tops through the pregnancy. So here I am, going into summer, 25lbs heavier - without even a flattering a-line sundress,. Where's Steinmart when you need it? Friday my sister is watching her so I can buy fat girl clothes.
(punctuation is bad b/c I am holding her with my left hand)
So that's my entire existence. There is some other - random - good stuff to discuss -like birthdays, weddings, party planning etc but I need to go into my closet whilst she's asleep and try to muster up an outfit before we go to the pedi./ and she needs a bath!
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