I can't help but wonder if Saturday when Doug didn't feed her, if he had some instinct somewhere that she was sick. In his own way did he know? I'm tired. And sad. And I want Ellie home and healthy. I do wonder if he had a sixth sense (in a sense). Like on some subliminal level could he tell she wasn't "right" and was waiting for her to "reset" before he fed her. I'm so used to my own instincts being right but now feel they were so not right. Well, I guess I was right in that I called the doctor. But still.
And it's weird being at home for any length of time. I keep hearing her cry but she's not here.
As Vicki continues to say "Poor Muffin". I'm so busy attending to her I'm not mothering her. I feel like I need to sing to her and hold her but then I see that she does better with the oxygen just blowing so I feel like leaving her alone is better. Sigh.
And, total non sequiter, I'm BEYOND upset about Heath Ledger. My god, 28. He was a baby. With a baby. So very upsetting.
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