My husband, the rocket scientist...

Me. It’s way too early. But I have a headache. And I’m tired. My food tastes funny. I'd rather know…

4 days before – 53% accurate. Hmmm.
$8.99 at CVS for 1. 3 for $9.99 at Target.

me: "What do YOU think? I mean do you see it? It's like the faintest blue line, right? Like just a fraction? But I do see it..."
him: "I'm not sure"
me: "You're not sure if you see it. Or you're not sure if it's possible? what?
him: "No, I mean, I see it. But I'm not sure that's really means anything"
Me: rolling eyes "Well, usually it means"
Him: interrupting “I mean, maybe that happens if anyone pees on it. Like if I peed on it would it happen” rhetorically. Because he's sure it would.
me; "No. That's the whole point. The line only gets blue if it detects some human growth hormone thing. I don't know what it's called."
him: "Well, I didn't see it before you took it. Maybe the line is always there and it gets darker."
me: "Excuse me?"
him: "I'd need to see it before."
me: "So let me get this straight. You think there's always a blue line and it just gets darker?"
him: "Right"
me: "Yeh, ok. NO. Not quite. People would be calling night and day. They've perfected the technology. The windows are clear through. Perfectly white."
him: nomcomittal noise
me: Exasperated "WHAT?"
him: "I'm just not convinced, that's all."
me: "You're not convinced what? That I know how these work? That the line is there? Or isn't? You're not convinced of what exactly?"
him: "I just would need to see the test first."
me: "So you think maybe I did it wrong?"
him: patronizingly "No, no, not that. I just think that you probably didn’t really look at it first."
Me: laughing but exasperated "Fine, ok. See if I incubate the next baby butler."

next day
me: "Ok, so I don't know"
him: "why?"
me: "I kind of see it but it's a different test. It's so faint, I don't know"
him: "did you look at it first"
me: "YES I looked at it first. I'm telling you, there was no faint line there."
him: not convinced
me: "Look"
him: looks
me: "so what, you don't think so? You don't see it?"
him: "Well, I see the line but I'm not convinced it means something"
me: "Well I'm not convinced EITHER. I'm just trying to confirm if you see the line.
pause
me: Listen, I'm not getting my hopes up. I'm not excited. I'm not hoping. I'm actually just trying to confirm thatthere is an actual line there and it's not an optical illusion. Your negating it is not helping. I don't need you to devil's advocate. I'm not going to BE dissapointed, trust me. I just trying to ascertain whether you SEE A LINE"
him: "Well, there's definately something there."

next day
me: "Can you come in here for a minute"
him: entering "What's up?"
me: "Ok, do you see this line. this blue one here. it goes all the way accross the window"
him: "yes"
me: "so you see it"
him: "yes"
me: "ok, so you see this blue line. This one right here. This one."
him: "Yes. Yes I see it"
me: pausing
him: Saying nothing
me: Still waiting
him: Still saying nothing
me: "um, don't you think it's a little, well, scary"
him: "no, not really" kisses me on forhead
me: "you aren't nervous?"
him: "oh no"
me: thinking "wow. So calm."
Him continuing: "I still don't think you are"
me: astonished Ok, so, the line is blue, right?
him: yes
me: and you know that blue means something, right?
him: Yeah, that I'm not so sure of
me: rolling eyes "Fine" picks up pee stick. "I'm going downstairs. Think about it while you're in the shower. Call Merck."

I went downstairs and placed the stick on my desk, near my right hand. I glanced at it a few times. Really, I see a blue line. Then I woke Ellie up. Downstairs she came, and I hit send on a draft email.

So where's the stick? No idea.

Ellie likes to grab things off my desk. So somewhere in my house is an arguably positive pregnancy test.

Delightful.


update: 2pm
Aha. Ellie threw the stick in the trash. I know this because I just spent the last hour plus searching the house. On the one hand, GOOD for her. On the other, Fruedian anybody???