She's Living in LA with My Best Old Ex Friend Ray...

I used to have a friend.
She was bright. Funny. Talented.
Extremely talented. Extremely funny.

Talented in the actual sense not just the vague complimentary sense.
But.
We aren't friends anymore.

My drinking days.
To hear me say it you'd think I was an alcoholic.
I was actually a workaholic.

I worked near a series of bars - so that combined with a passion for music had me warming a lot of stools. I miss, and I say it all the time, I miss dearly the feeling of abandon - dancing after a long day. Balls to the wall bar songs, laughing until 3am. I could wax on. I can discuss it with all the passion and animation of a real drunk.

I met my exfriend years prior and we hadn't sparked but we didn't extinguish each other either.

We were reintroduced in the midst of the post Shannon preMike debacle that sucked three years out of my life, cost me 10-lbs, 1 miscarriage, him his job, is worth a post of it's own, and is also colloquially referred to as the time that I met someone else's husband who lied his way into my life and recently said he was sorry but found a way to still blame me but I digress period.

So I met her at the worst time, when I acted my least favorable, and inevitably, we parted, the worst of friends. Or perhaps not because I had more respect for her then she me so we parted as likely a blip on her radar, and for me, a friend lost.

I seldom think of other bygone friends but she is one of the few that regardless of our ending I still think about.

So I stalk her.

Well, solely within the magical purview of Facebook, myspace, her webpage and occasionally, her show schedule.

Because DAMN that girl is talented.

She has a voice like Roseanne Cash, she can cover the shit out of almost any genre and she isn't afraid to rip her heart out.

So I occasionally search for her. I download a song. I hope she reaches all her dreams.

Because regardless of the fact that I was a fickle, faithless lush of a friend who quoted Pride & Prejudice when I slept with the guy she liked "Would my not sleeping with him made him like you more" said my Elizabeth to her Lady Catherine, I cared about her deeply.

Hmm. All these years later and I'm wondering why she's still on my mind.
I must be on Step 8.