So I got a call from a mom the other day. I had asked her is she wanted to hostess an at home soiree, just a girls night in with sweats and wine and maybe the game Scene It. Nothing crazy. Something after the kids bed time but not far away etc. We all live local, we could likely walk if we weren't lazy Americans.
She was on board and we started talking. There was some chit chat about the date, the time. She drafted an evite that was blank, so I edited it with the details. She decided she didn't like the start time, the guests, the idea for entertainment. I thought "Ok, it was my idea but it's your house so no big deal. The end still honers the agreement". And then she sent the evite.
Blank.
With no information whatsoever but her name and address.
I emailed her a "let me know what's up? Are you all set?" email and she didn't reply.
Several days later at my daughters birthday party I asked her what was up and she expressed frustration and aggravation that no one was interested. That she was ready to do "All This Work" and no one responded. I quickly, annoyed, replied "Actually, about 6 people responded to the evite and almost all of them said they were interested but couldn't commit until they knew the date" to which she responded that she was confused on how to use evite and that she hadn't bothered to check RSVPs.
I asked her if she wanted to bag it and that I'd do something instead and she replied "Yes, that would be great"
Several day later still I hear from mutual friends that the date that has been bandied about is Friday the 8th. The date which three of us are already invited to another soiree, and that all three of us told her about at various times.
I didn't bother to email her or ask because it was a) hearsay and b) she already had an email from me asking about it and c) she told me not 7 days before that it was being canceled. I assumed my other friends were confused.
Until yesterday.
When ADD mom calls and "confronts" me about "What my problem is". How I "planned something with her and blew her off" How I asked to come to do something and then "made other plans".
About two sentences into her diatribe she got the hand.
"You might want to stop talking now" is what I said. Followed by "Before you say something that you aren't going to be able to step back from"
And then I proceeded to photographic memory replay the entire conversation library.
Whereupon after she quickly switched subjects and said it wasn't at ALL abour that she just wanted to know if something was wrong and that I shouldn't get "defensive"
Which is funny. Because with all her therapy you'd think shed know the difference between defensive and angry.
So I told her I wasn't angry but that her position was flimsy and I think she needed to understand what went wrong before she blamed everyone else.
Ultimately, her "anger" is around the fact that I apparently run hot and cold - one minute I have time and plans and the next I "drop" her. Which I have now heard three times from three seperate people.
I'm not sure what to say to that. I'm flattered and gratified that someone wants to spend time with me, and I think I'm pretty open about the fact that I have plans EVERY day every week so I'm not ever really "open" - but I'll clear something with notice. Is that fun? No. Flattering? Nah. But you know, it's kind of my life.
My friend Jess says that these three people thrive on drama.
I'm inclined to agree.
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