How I Spend My Free Time - Part II

Lest you think it's all sweetness and light, I will go on to say that after i put the cherub to bed, I spent 20 minutes creating a dollhouse tableau.
And after inspection the final product at leisure, this is what I came up with:

1. This item is actually named "Fisher Price Loving Family Twin Time Dollhouse"
Which, I dunno, I think is kind of creepy. Like this is "the loving family's" dollhouse. As opposed to the "you rotten bastard you knocked me up, I gave up my career, and now we are mortgaged to the hilt" family dollhouse? It just seems a little Stepfordesque.

2. Why is everyone blond?
I get that this house was manufactured with two different family options: Caucasian and African American. But overall, here in America, we don't really have a disproportionate numbers of fair hairs. So why does Fisher Price sell a house where it's main option of a family choice is blond? Isn't that like, less then 5% of the population? Aren't blonds all supposed to be extinct by 2210? You'd think by making the family brunette you'd be able to capture the majority of Caucasians, and a greater percentage of Hispanics and Asians. Look at the woman on the Tide box. She's designed as an amalgamation of, oh, four different races. She's like that woman on Seinfeld who's beautiful sometimes, then ugly? Mrs. Tide Box turns into the light and HEY, she's Hispanic. Oh wait, she's Latino. Ooooh, I think I see a little Cherokee. Meanwhile when can we go back to saying "black people" because I'm not convinced that every single person with dark skin is African American. What if they are from Cape Verde?

3. Why are there two Mommy's?
At first we thought Mommy II was the teenage daughter but we realized that her boobs were bigger then Mommy I. I suspect that in order to get each gender child, you had to buy a different set. But what do I do with Mommy II? We are calling her "New Christine" actually. Ultimately she may be the Auntie. Or Nanny. But I'm fairly certain that there's some serious Big Love going on in my Loving Family Dollhouse.

4. Subliminal Forces...Gender Roles
You'll notice in my tableau that BOTH Mommies are working. One putting down the baby girl, the other in the kitchen. Daddy is of course sitting on his ass reading the paper.

5. Subliminal Forces...Gender Bias
You'll also notice that I can given both girls optimal placement. Girl One, the child, gets the tree swing while her brother, the bastard from Daddy's affair with New Christine, get's relegated to just sitting on the tree. Girl Two, the infant, is being hand rocked to sleep while infant baby boy is left standing alone in his crib. Additionally, Boy I sleeps in the attic, with no discernable means of getting upstairs. VC Andrews anyone?

6. My husband queried "So, where do the parents sleep?"
Telling. Very telling. Apparently Fisher Price has tapped into the narcissistic psyche of children and realizes that a bedroom for Mommy and Daddy, and apparently New Christine, is superfluous.


All and all I'm finding our new dollhouse an interesting example of the expression of American ideals.