I go back in my head to times long gone, better left unreviewed. What is it, what is it about having had a child that makes me flash back and further back into a life that I neither care to examine, nor frankly care to remember.
Is it having too much time?
Is it having my metaphorical house (relatively) in order therefore my mind has decided to clear out the attic of the rest of the boxed away stuff?
I drove down the highway today thinking about the prom my school had junior year, an ex I had when I was 30, and how much god awful horribly painful stuff lingers in my mind. I know that's it fear, and shame, that cement memories, so much more then love and guidance but honestly, isn't there a corner of my subconscious that has a nightlight on?
You know when they say "Think back to a happy memory"?
I tend to be like "Where? When?"
It's not that I'm unhappy now, in fact just the reverse.
So why - and I really wish I knew why - why in gods name is everything coming back to me now?
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