I'm frantically typing. I've given myself six minutes to post and I need more then six to think never mind type rapid fire with my right hand hunt and peck method.
My mother watched my daughter last night. Her (my daughters) cousin was over, and my mother thought it would be fun to have both. I worry that Ellie is getting too independent to be cuddled by her cousin for any length of time and that she'll pull away, hurt her cousins feelings, and somehow damage an otherwise perfect and gratifying relationship. I'm astonished at the love one 6 year old can have for one 1 year old. Point 9. 1.9 year old. Not that the point 9 is accurate. Fractionally it doesn't translate to one year and 9 months but at a glance your brain should complete the thought.
Anyway.
To thank my mother and make it easier I brought over: beef stew and mashed potatoes (for dinner) some leftover hamburger helper (for the girls), cinnamon bread and sausages (for everyone for breakfast) and some craisins for a snack.
Dr. Atkins would be so proud of me.
I portioned the hamburger helper into two containers. Both enough individually for the girls. In fact, the four of them, with a vegetable and some bread, could have made a meal out of the whole.
Before I left I started to heat the food, get plates ready and, in general, set her up to feed both prior to her own sitting down. As I watched her take the container out of the microwave, and stir the steaming hot faux casserole, I pulled two plates down.
She turned to my 6 year old niece and said "Do you want to eat this like this or from a plate?"
Innoculous upon reading surely but astonishing in person.
First of all, this food was thermonuclear. It was so hot the plastic was hot to the touch. was she truly going to put the container down in front of a six year old?
Second, more importantly, plate the food for crying out loud. I know "recycling and water waste" but really. Give a child the same respect and courtesy you give an adult. She's a person. Allow her to eat from a plate thank you. Not an alpo bowl.
and finally, and in my mind the most egregious.
LOOK at the portion. Good lord, this was enough food for an adult. An adult binging. This was certainly not a child's size portion.
I was completely aghast. Disgusted. Saddened.
My mother is overweight. Genuinely an innocently. She has spent YEARS frustrated, uncomfortable and saddened by her weight. She lies to herself about her size, and to everyone else about how nutritionally intelligent she is. She's not a "pig" or a "fat ass" or any of the stereotypes we inflict on heavy people. Contrary to popular belief not all heavy people sit around lazy, overeating and getting buckets of fried food. My mother is motivated, intelligent and hardworking. She just - literally - can't see what she's doing wrong.
I know after dinner she'll offer icecream, or cake, or cookies..."for dessert" - then a snack with milk before bed. She'll offer it to the older girl and then watch her eat it. At some point she'll chastise her "Are you SUPPOSED to be eating that Julia?" and then she'll take the milk away, publicly shaming her "And you've had ENOUGH of this - I'm not going to have you wetting the bed." Then she'll give my daughter ice cream. Which she doesn't need, which we don't give her, which prior to Grandma she had no taste for. But she'll eat it. All of it. And she'll poop in the night and awake, crying with a tummy ache.
And my mother will mention how well she didn't sleep.
I know she loves them. I'm not worried about the one day. It's just so clear now though, watching her with our daughters, what she did with her own.
No comments:
Post a Comment