All Quiet on the Western Front

"Where ya been? Everything ok?"

Yes thank you. We weren't verbose this March. Is there a word for verbose that means the written word? I mean, we were verbose. As in we strung letters into words into sentences as if our lives depended on it, but not much was committed to print.

I talked a lot this month. 2400 plus minutes on the cell phone. Reserve 9 hours of the day for sleep, or just too damn late/early to call, and there you have 15. 31 days on the month, divised into the minutes used averaged across so many hours (or more specifically in excel "=(2400/31)/15" and you get upwards of 5 hours a day. On the phone. ON THE PHONE.

And not all me talking.

Oh sure, I went to Connecticut, West Connecticut if that's such a place, and into New York twice, so there was a good 16 hours of phone time, and Crazy Anna's HIV has developed into full blown AIDS so there was a number of phone calls to that party as well. I talked to moms: mine, his and my peer moms, I talked to friends: old, new and obligatory maintenance. I talked to my cousin, my nephew, my stepmother, the neighbor, the other neighbor, the neighbors daughter, her other daughter. I talked. I listened.

It was a long month.

I started coaching. A friend. Daily affirmations and tracking. A peer review of her goal meeting techniques. Messages at night and in the morning. It was the first month of Facebook - as in "Who the ^%#@# are you and how did you find me and yes, let's send each other a long chatty email about what we've done the last few, has it been 16 really, years" I started Shredding (Jillian Michaels 30 day program.) Did about 22 days, quit, started again last night. Along with Weight Watchers.

My nephew sleeps on the couch occasionally and my daughter is turning two. As in "Let's cut me some teeth and cry a bit and whine a bit more and lose our smile for a week at a time" And she's lovely, and wonderful, and willful. But I'm spending inordinate amounts of time reprimanding sharply "EL-eanor. Bums on chair. Eleanor, milk off the couch. Eleanor, do NOT hit Daddy." And on it goes.

We're looking at having the porch torn off - it's a piece of crap.
We need to find a jelly cabinet for shoes - the kitchen is becoming a jumble shoe sale.

Some things bugged me, a lot of things. Some things were wonderful. I think my husband disappointed me, which was really a first for us, so that sort of threw me, and then a few times I disappointed myself, and that threw me too.

So here it is in a nutshell. All the blogs I didn't blog about. Pertained to - in no particular order but, you know, the calendar:

MID TO LATE FEB
Our bed breaks (actually two years ago) and we finally take advantage of the warrenty and have said bed removed. Full refund. Still sleeping on smaller guest bed.

END OF FEB - THE WEDDING SHOWER-
I went to a wedding shower and:
- a. thought about the fact that we eloped vs had a traditional wedding
- b. said something so ackward that I cringe today thinking about it
and
- c. was thrown by a very casual comment from a friend loosely translated to: she was surprised that I hadn't erred in my behavior more.

EARLY MARCH
- I babysat a friends child and discover a dynamic heretofore undiscovered between the two. Her child and mine. It was, and remains, an interesting conundrum for me.
- I start peer coaching a friend.
- I start exercising.
- I visit NY and, while happy to see a good friend, regret some of the reminders of the things I've lost being a wife and mother.
- We discuss purchasing a new home. We discuss refinancing. We discuss the shitall nature of our broken down porch and why it isn't a priority for my husband.

MIDMARCH
- My child broke through about 4 teeth in a three week window. Arghhhhhh much?
- The porch becomes an issue and two weeks plus are spent fighting my husband about what type of homeowners ne people we really are ensues. I fix before it breaks, he fixes after. Meaning I am responsible for managing the fix after. See: disappointment in husband as referenced above.
- I contemplate sleeping on the couch but my nephew is there first.
- Waiting for inlaws to paint. See disappointment in inlaws as related to husband as referenced above.
- Make appt and show up for mamogram. Am told to leave. Cannot have one until period is due. No xrays if theres a chance you could be pregnant. Huh? "Well, did you HAVE unprotected sex???" Well, um, yeah, if you put it like that. I guess so....


MIDMARCH
- My nephew stays over with more frequency
- My couch begins to smell like nephew
- My husband increasingly ecomes very Darren Stevens as played by Dick Sargent and boorish and neanderthal in terms of being "the man". Expectations are increasingly ridiculous. Husband deserves bitch slap.
- Am increasingly busy with child related playdates, home visitors and babysitting here and there.
- Stepmothers hours get reduced. Endure her laments of dismay. Think to self: perhaps you could use the extra time and clean your house then.Keep mouth shut. Ignore calls.
- Mother also annoying. Compulsively overworking at not very important job. Start to ignore her calls.
- Become tired of people and their excuses.
- Husband chastises wife for being intolerant of "lazy excuse making people"
- Become disenfranchised with some people as a whole
- Start yardsaling again. Bright light shines. happy happy happy. Have good friend and love yardsaling with her. Light shines brightly. Forgive people for sucking.

Late March
- Take matters into own hands. Start calling contractors. Ignore husband. Pretend to listen. Sorry it's come to this. He still deserves a bitch slap.
- Enjoying America Idol less.
- Sort all clothes again. Baby growing like weed. No longer a baby. Sigh.
- inundated with things to do. Start scaling back. Home life is full of conversations daily. Nephew organizing life. Financial talks, credit talks, resolving issues, discussing issues. Am tired at home thus tired outside of home.
- Crying for no reason frequently. Old ladies alone in the grocery store cause tears. Crying at the sheep festival because the sky is so blue, crying because I like the song on the radio. Cry cry cry. Pregnant? No. PreMenopause? No thanks.

Later Still In March
_ Husband lucky wife loves him. Wife goes to bed when Kathy Bates in Dlores Claybourne phrases start popping into head. Husband annoyed.
- Friends friends friends. Social social social.
- Need sleep desperately.

April
- Child is better. Saw a real smile. Nose is one month running but hope is on the horizon.
- 1st week of ww - lost 3.lbs or so.

Presently
Getting icecream and flashlight. Icecream for a snack. Flashlight to read in bed.
Note to self: need nightlight.