And be a simple kind of man...

Take your time... dont live too fast,
Troubles will come and they will pass.
Go find a woman and youll find love,
And dont forget son,
There is someone up above.

And be a simple kind of man.
Be something you love and understand.
Be a simple kind of man.
Wont you do this for me son,
If you can?

Boy, dont you worry... youll find yourself.
Follow you heart and nothing else.
And you can do this if you try.
All I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.

When I was in college my brother had a baby. A boy. He was our family’s first grandchild.

For a few years after his birth, things were good. My brother was young, his girlfriend six years older, was also young. He was, of course, an accident. But they were happy. Fun. He was adored. And a great little boy.

He rumor is that I was his first word. I’m sure I wasn’t but I was an early word. I watched him on Fridays. Sometimes Saturdays. They overpaid me.

And he grew. He grew and grew and grew. And his life got more complicated when his parents lives got more complicated. Way beyond where they should have been. But he was everybody’s darling. Handsome, charming, funny, smart. He inherited all the best of our clan. But it wasn’t as if we thought he escaped the worst.

I held my breath. You see things. Signs, indicators. Not a fundamental badness of character or soul. Just things that make you say, “You know…I can see where this is going to lead and it’s not going to end well. But you wait. And you hope. Because there isn’t much you can do when it’s not your child. You just hope they make it through.

So he went to college. Then dropped out. His girlfriend and he broke up. His basement bedroom flooded. His hockey dreams ended. He’s aimless. And illequiped to cope.

And on his way to the Marines. Because somebody somewhere convinced him it was a good idea.

I have volumes of things to say. Emails written, ideas expressed. A family legacy to explain. Things revealed in compassionate understanding. He understands. He’s going anyway. Because he feels there nothing else left.

My mother and brother both are big on “break the cycle”.
I find it impossible sad that it wasn’t broken before him.