We Are Spirits in the Material World..subtitled, How's the Pool Looking Narcissus?

I'm incapable of having an original thought.

My mother with who I've had my fair share of ups and downs lives somewhere way WAY way over the rainbow. And doesn't like to acknowledge anything outside herself. Hours of conversation can be dedicated to who is going where and when and why didn't anyone tell her. Invite her. Call her. Notify her. But no minutes devoted to anything remotely real.

It puts me to mind of an old (can I say now defunct?)friend who was ripshit that the caterer canceled her luncheon on September 12. "I mean, I'm sorry all those people died " she said "But I have 12 guys coming in and it's not like it happened here. It happened in New York."

Her, my mother...an eerie parallel.

Point being other then putting one foot in front of the other, going forward, head down, existing - I haven't much to say. I'm in original thought limbo. Nothings inspiring me, motivating me, making me passionate or making me blue. I'm not down, depressed, lackluster or otherwise. I'm just going through a particularly uninvolved time. Feeling lazy, feeling antipathy. There's nothing I'm rallying for, or against. I have no hobbies, and I'm not cultivating any.

I am, in a word, boring.

Yet not bored.

Living in this alternate universe where I don't read the news, or deign to care about anything save for the next episode of what's on my dvr, I just can't muster up the energy to be energetic about anything.

I'm not planning a wedding, buying a house, decorating a house, planning a move, a build a remodel. I'm not a gourmand, I'm not a neat freak, I'm not under or over utilized. I'm not doing anything and yet I'm tired of doing things.

Yet I know the day is coming. In the dark of winter I'm not thinking about my abs, the garden, the thanks yous, the birthdays around the corner. Yet that time is coming. And I'm going to be pissed if I'm not ready. So tomorrow, starting tomorrow, I need to get motivated again. New goals, new objectives, new fake hoops to jump through.

Hmm.
Maybe not tomorrow.
Maybe the day after.