No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service

I don't wear a coat. I layer. I -HEART- the layer. Sweaters over shirts, wristies under gloves, a scarf, a hat, kneesox and boots. Torso, toes, tips and head - all cozy. But I don't wear a coat.

I love going out unencumbered.

"Where's your coat?"
It's out keeping the car warm.

"Aren't you freezing?"
Nope
"Are you warm enough?"
Yes

And now, with a child it's:
"Aren't you going to put a coat on Ellie?"
No. I'm not. Because we are leaving my heated house to get into a heated car to drive to a heated building where will will play and get hot, afterwhich I will move Ellie back to the heated car to drive to the heated home.

Although I think surely people are used to me by now.

I left the baby gym today with a group of moms, some hard core: children armed in bunting and ski patrol regalia; some casual, a parka and hat does the trick. No judgement from any of us, just making our way to the car. My daughter had on a long sleeve onsie, a cotton sweater, jeans and socks. Oh. And a hairclip. Clearly underdressed for the weather. Her fleece lined coat and hat stuffed in my bag, her shoes under her dirty diaper.

I had parked by design, with the right side to the sun, pulled all the way up and to the back of the parking lot. I wanted maximum sun to melt the ice from the roof. My car has an automatic starter.

We walked to the car, outside anywhere from 45 seconds to a minute 15. Ellie transferred into her sunwarmed carseat, grabbed for her milk and away we went.

I wondered briefly if my "bundling" mom friend was chortling to herself.
Or speed dialing child services.

Although, as I said, surely she is used to me by now.

So I thought about it.

I don't wear a coat. My brother doesn't wear a coat. Neither does my other. My sister? What coat? My mom tends to wear a scarf and gloves. My dad? A tshirt. His wife. Coatless. We are a coatless people. Husband goes to work? No coat.

It's not like we were raised that way. Come to think of it, we ALL wore coats growing up. When I worked in town I was the queen of coats - trenches, rain, sport, fleece, faux fur, wind, and parka. I have coats for every occasion and a few sports that I don't even play.

But we are quintessential fat americans. I may as well be from LA. I drive EVERYWHERE!
So why a coat?

My adorable bundling friend has me in hysterics when she innocently queries why it is that her daughter sweats so much.
"I just don't understand it" she says.
Well, for starters she's a onesie, a long sleeve shirt, a sweatshirt, jeans, shoes, a jacket and a hat. Maybe she's sweating because, and this is just a guess here, she's um, HOT?
Meanwhile she's ready to kill me. "Put some clothes on that child" she admonshes me.

I could see if we were living on the plains ala The House at Plum Creek. I could see if my daughter and I labored at the shipyard, on the docks, on the decks. I could see if we were shoveling snow, trekking through wind or qualifying for the Iditarod. I could see it if my child was actually PLAYING outside. But we're not. It's just not worth the hassle. Oh sure we OWN coats, and they get worn. In the morning I throw Ellie's coat on to get her to the car. But once we get to the destination, on the way back out, if I don't feel like putting it on, it stays off.

It's not because there's a power struggle (there isn't), and it's not that I don't care. It's just that I can't imagine why it's important for a 30 second walk to the car.

"Oh but you need to get her in the habit now so she'll put her coat on later."
Hmm. Maybe. Or, you know, she'll just be cold.

I get a lot of good, practical parenting advice from my sister. By example. When her daughter was younger - not as young as Ellie but say 3ish - my sister would say "It's time to put your coat on". If her daughter responded, great. If not, she'd say it a few more times, maybe, if it was important, put her in it. But if it was cold enough out, not raining, not snowing, just cold - my sister would simply say - casually - "Oh ok, but you're going to be cold" and out they'd go. And she'd let her be cold.

And now my niece wears a jacket.
When she's cold.

There are things I care deeply about. Like Ellie yelling "Mine" Where the HELL she picked that up I have zero idea. And I'm not a big fan of hitting. Which fortunately hasn't happened yet. Tantrums? Couldn't bother me less. My husband and I are so blase about it they end in under 15 seconds. Then it's a hug and a kiss and off you go. But all the hullabaloo about dressing them warmly? Bah.

I've yet to hear "Child dies from 30 second exposure to 58 degree weather, Film at 11"