Hitting it Old School

I'm on the phone with my sister tonight. I mention that I tapped Ellie across the foot today. Hard.

We have a no kicking policy. I understand that she needs to express herself, that no one likes being flat on their back ala WWF and getting their ass wiped with a cold damp scented cloth (hence the expression cool as a cucumber??), I realize she's having fun and doesn't want me to interrupt it. Etc.

But it's not ok to kick. Not mommy, not daddy, not tummies, not ever. Unless you are over the age of 21 walking in the North End and in fear for your virginity. (A 21 year old virgin? A feat in itself. All puns intended.)

The rule is, she gets a warning. Several. A stern admonishment. We look each other in the eye. Then, if there's another kick, one that appears malicious and not just a synapse misfiring or a tiny mind taking an extra second to process, the offending leg gets captured and it's two fingers against the flat of her foot. Pointer and middle, not ring, so there's some force. She gets a tap. Then a "No Kicking". Then we move on. She cries, I ignore it. She stops kicking. I pick her up, she gets a kiss and a hug, a good girl, then down she goes and off she toddles.

I have heard the reports that hitting is setting her up for a codependent relationship. That the one who hits (aka me) is also the one that comforts. So I fully realize that years from now, she'll be in love with a drunk named Marty, who only hits her every four months then tells her it's her fault. The therapist will point to me. She'll tell her future husband. The one she meets seven years into therapy - after she kicks Marty out. They'll both be glad I was old as dirt when I had her and soon to be dead so they don't have to forgive me. Etc etc.

I read the Slate article on corporal punishment. I've read the articles about human rights. That we don't afford those under 18 the same respect as those older. Etc etc.
I feel bad.
I wonder.
I worry.

I mention it is passing. Conversationally. Adjunct to something my sister has said.

"Yeah. I tapped Ellie across the foot today. Hard."
"Um hmm" my sister says "Wha'd she do?"
"She kicked me in the stomach. We have a zero tolerance policy around kicking."
My sisters quiet. Is she listening or condemning? I continue "I know, there's all these articles that say that once you hit them once, it escalates. That you get desensitized to it."

"Oh good." She said. "Then you won't feel as guilty when she's older and you really need to whack her."