Too Cryptic For ya?

So the phone rang the other day.

I was outside walmart of all places.
Of all places because Wallys and I don't usually see eye to eye.

It's my friend Shannon.
Mid transition sentence she outs "So you pregnant or what?"

huh?
Um. No.
Interesting conversational gamut by the way.

So I basically act like a mid to moderate asshole, put her on the spot and give her a quick "WTF?"

She explains "I didn't know what happened. Did you get your period? Or not? You said you didn't really. Didn't you have a positive test?"

That was forever ago I'm thinking. But in application it was what, less then a month ago? So I was dismissive. Summarily waving it off. "Yeah, no must have been chemical." Plus I don't know, I'm not used to talking about...well, about things like periods. Blogging notwithstanding. It's still sort of a *blushworthy* word for me.

Silence.

I mean, I'm not an idiot, I'm pretty hep to what constitutes fertilization. But I didn't feel like having a discussion. Not because it was emotionally painful or anything, just because I was at WALMART. Where the employees are just younger then dirt and really really I didn't want the withering elderly lady "are you on your cell phone dear" looks. Minus the dear.

So I was abrubt.
"Yes. no. Not. Thanks for asking."

She played along.
Glossing over it moving on to better conversational waters.

As I reflect on it tonight, would that we had this conversation today.

"Oh no, I'm not pregnant. How can I tell? I think I might have pms. How do I know? Well, I blogged someone was a cooze for one - and I don't even USE that word. Then I wanted to bitch slap that self same person's chid today, add to that I took a two hour nap - for real - and allowed my daughter to stay in her crib for an HOUR after she woke up because I was just just too tired to play. Hmm. Then tonight I ate a bowl of cakemix."

"Why no, I wasn't making a cake. I went IN to the kitchen, opened the box, cut open the bag, siphoned some dry batter into a bowl, added 2 tablespoons of milk, and ate raw batter."

The maybe baby would have hidden from me today let's be honest.
Mommy is bitch.
Poor Ellie. She went to bed early. even she's tired of me.